Government Toilet Paper

I make a whole lot of money,
I sell the government toilet paper
And in the middle of the defecation
It breaks down.

You'll never need to refill 'em
With rolls the size of an island nation
But in the course of rectification
It breaks down.

You'll never call for a plunger.
The stuff is thinner than carbon paper
To get two squares would mean a celebration
Then it breaks down.

I got a job that's mean to an end,
Prisoners' butts are gonna' burn like sin,
All the mercy's gone, nowhere to go
Jury duty gotta' take a crap
Postal workers use the leaves out back,
Wedge is turning slow, nowhere to go
But oh, that tragic feeling, nowhere to go
Oh, that tragic feeling
Nowhere to go

One sweet dream:
Just buy the rolls, you'll get the dispenser free,
"I just want to wipe in here:
Clean up my ass and stash my rear away!"
One sweet dream came true today
Came true today
Came true today (yes it did)

One two three four five six seven,
All these amps go to eleven...