Oi! My face is sagging.
Oi! Now my bottom's dragging.
Oi! I'm turning 61 . . . Oi!


When I was blonder, so much blonder than today,
My hair had lots - of built-in bounce - that came from Clairol spray.
But now these hairs have gone, and turned three shades of gray.
In a wink, they're in the sink - my youth washed down the drain.

Catchin' up on me, my life's a whirl,
It's not easy growing old, when you're a girl.
Looking like Keith Richards makes me hurl.
Will the years, years catch me?

You should have seen me as a blushing bride in June.
But with a husband and four kids, the years passed soon.
A little past my prime I still had my allure,
Never dreamed that I would be my mother, now I'm her.

Catchin' up on me, 60 is rough.
And to do it all again would sure be tough.
Leaping from a rooftop's not enough,
If you should, should catch me.

Yes, I was modder, so much modder than today,
Ever into psychedelics, Fillmore's purple haze.
But now I get brochures on Leisure City life.
Traded free love in the Haight, for no love as a wife.

Catchin' up on our retirement,
Just to find our lifetime savings all are spent.
Our children never call, no cards are sent.
If I jump - don't catch me.
Not me...not mee-e-ee-----THWUMP!