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Song Parodies -> "The Future of Reality TV"

Original Song Title:

"Octopus's Garden"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"The Future of Reality TV"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I've yet to watch a whole programme of any "Reality" TV show, however from trailers and social media commentary it seems like they're trying ever harder to imply that there's some kind of nookie going on (even if there isn't). Fast forward a few years...
What's that I see
On my TV?
It's Amer'ca's Next Top Model.. getting laid
On Jersey Shore
By The Bachelor
With his octopus's hard-on, getting laid

And they call this "reality"?
Seems more porno-graphic to me
Who'd want to see
Duck Dynasty
In a Shark Tank with a Queer Eye for the Straight

There's Geordie Shores
And Storage Whores
Some people wanna keep up with the K's
In best of taste:
Rand Paul's Drag Race
Or an ex-XXX Factor, so depraved

Watch 'em fling and horse around
As a Pawn Star Apprentice gets "crowned"
We disapproved
It's now disproved
That America's Got Talent on parade

Now folks'll come
To watch Teen Mom
The prequel that's set nine months before
(What went on nine months before?)
Oh what voy-
Euristic girls and boys
Knowing Big Brother's watching more
(Brother's watching more)

And if it's called "Celebrity"
Who's on it? I haven't got a clue
All that I see
On my TV
Lotsa cock-to-pussy action with you.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   10

User Comments

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Stuart McArthur - February 28, 2018 - Report this comment
I reckon you wrote that last line first Phil! And is Teen Mum really a show? If not, it will be. Great to read your stuff again. 555
Peregrin - February 28, 2018 - Report this comment
Excellent, 4 parodies out of 5 read so far mentioning the K's - had a feeling they might get a look in. Enjoyed this one all the way through, Phil. I almost tripped over that last line, beautiful sub. Your parody matched the OS brilliantly, and gave a serve to many, many worthy contenders.
Agrimorfee - February 28, 2018 - Report this comment
and I end my journey today with Prof. Phil. You managed to mention all the other shows no one else did and smashed them up beautifully into a cockamamie mess (which is what it all is). Excellent.
Matthias - February 28, 2018 - Report this comment
Enjoyed the reality show name dropping in this one. Everything on television is about sex these days, Isn't it?
Dave W. - February 28, 2018 - Report this comment
If you watch dumb tv... does that make you dumber?
Claude Prez - February 28, 2018 - Report this comment
Well, first of all, I'm pretty sure I'D like to see "Duck Dynasty In a Shark Tank with a Queer Eye for the Straight" but maybe that's just me. Other than that, total agreement here - and not 100% positive you meant to say "Rand Paul" or not but it's funny either way
JAB - February 28, 2018 - Report this comment
Helps me understand why I've never watched any of this shlt.
Jeff Reuben - March 01, 2018 - Report this comment
The prequel line was really good. You're not missing much, ignore that I'm hooked on the Bachelor/Bachelorette
TJC - March 01, 2018 - Report this comment
Great ideas and lexecution---as always, Phil! What a treat revisiting the full-farce glory years of this site, if only for a brief shining moment.
Kristof Robertson - March 01, 2018 - Report this comment
Philfy Phil strikes again! All the Alexander hallmarks are there; wonderous wordplay, a generous sprinkling of smut, and superb cynicism. What’s not to love? I’m enjoying this immensely. 555
Peter Andersson - March 01, 2018 - Report this comment
555 fast channel switches.
John Jenkins - March 01, 2018 - Report this comment
Stellar parody, Phil. Unfortunately it is hard to argue with your cynical view of the future.
Meriadoc - March 02, 2018 - Report this comment
Especially loved: "It's now disproved that Amrica's Got Talent" ! And how did you sneak that last line past Chuckie? His eyesight must be dimming in his old age. ;-D
CML - March 02, 2018 - Report this comment
Loved that clever cheat tactic of splitting voyeuristic into voy- and Euristic in order to make a rhyme. It actually becomes a joke in and of itself. I'll keep that one in mind if I ever get hung up on a rhyme - March 04, 2018 - Report this comment
Phil.Bo.Al.Ex.An.Der. Back in action! Or maybe you've been continually in action and not "back." What do I know? OK, first, some trivia: Octopus's Garden is one of only two Ringo originals recorded by the Beatles. (And yet I don't think he ever plays it in concert. No idea why.) Anywho. I always appreciated your blue humor. Still do. You are so correct that it is voyeurism that drives reality TV, and the ultimate form of voyeurism is when you get to witness what you're talking about here. Yep. Cephalopods.

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