Song Parodies -> "Paperback Rigby"

Original Song Title:

"Paperback Writer; Eleanor Rigby"

Original Performer:

"Paperback Rigby"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

It is the year 1966 in counter-factual Beatles Smooshland, and the mop-topped crew is in hot water for the song, "Lonely Bat Rigby", a shockingly insensitive take on the plight of elderly British widows dying alone and unloved -- all of which did serious damage to their carefully crafted "cheeky lads" image. Numerous, utterly fictional critcs blamed the Beatles appalling lack of judgment on their close association with misogynistic, scatological Jewish comedian Mordecai "Rabbi" Wankar, who would eventually become the guru for Andrew "Dice" Clay

Eleanor Rigby, (Lonely ba-a-a-a-t ..)

(Break to wildly inappropriate, up tempo guitar riff ...)

Say Father Kensie, did you see her face
She keeps it by the door, hidden in a vase
She sits by a window after picking rice
And she needs a friend, or she'll always be
Lonely bat Rigby .. Eleanor Rigby!

There's a certain pastor with some socks to mend
And a burial rite no one did attend
His hands need wiping from a fresh dug grave
'Twas a thankless job, but he did it for
Lonely bat Rigby .. Eleanor Rigby!

Here's a thoughtful sermon no one listened to
They'll ignore another in a week or two
He can tone it down if you dislike his style
He can cut it short for a eulogy
Of lonely bat Rigby .. Eleanor Rigby!

A dreamy woman watching wedding rites
And her forlorn pastor darning in the night
She lies in a churchyard with forgotten name
And she'll stay unmourned for eternity
That lonely bat Rigby .. Eleanor Rigby!

Lonely bat Rigby ... Eleano-o-o-r ...

Lonely bat Rigby (Eleanor Rigby)
Lonely bat Rigby (Eleanor Rigby)
Lonely bat Rigby (Eleanor Rigby)
Lonely bat Rigby (Eleanor Rigby)

(To further compound the head scratching, the Beatles, at about the same time, released a tender, mournful take on the plight of self-deluded, would be pulp fiction writers, entitled "All The Would Be Kiplings" replete with a dirge-like orchestral violin score)

Ahh, look at all the would be Kiplings
Ahh, look at all the would be Kiplings

Paperback writer
Sits down to write, changing styles and word count to deaf ears
At it for years
Plinks at his keyboard
Begging for breaks or cheap jobs like some lit'rature whore
Vows to write more

All the would be Kiplings
What gets inside their head?
All the would be Kipling
How do they all get read?

Publisher Kensie
Reading the word of submission with thinly veiled sneer
Book's based on Lear
Plot has her smirking
Regarding slob, clinging wife and their son at the Mail
Such a foul tale

All the would be Kiplings
What gets inside their head?
All the would be Kiplings
How will they all get read?

Aaah, look at all the would be Kiplings
Aaah, look at all the would be Kiplings

Paperback writer
Left in a lurch when Madam said she wouldn't take a look
Returned his book
Publisher Kensie
Flaunting her wealth from the millions she made overnight
Stole away rights

All the would be Kiplings (Aah, look at all the would be Kiplings)
What gets inside their head?
All the would be Kiplings (Aah, look at all the would be Kiplings)
How will they all get read?

For those readers who weren't sentient beings at the time, The year 1966 was a fallow period for the Beatles as they were decompressing from the stresses of the early Beatlemania years and preparing for the shock and awe change of "Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band", which arrived in mid-1967. So for a period of about 18 months, the only new mega-hits were "Paperback Writer", "Eleanor Rigby" and "Yellow Submarine." And so, "Eleanor Rigby" and "Paperback Writer" have always been a matched pair in my mind

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Patrick - September 16, 2014 - Report this comment

Classic smoosh! Maybe there is still hope for this site. Haven't seen the likes since we wiped our hands at the grave of Tommy Turtle.

Callmelennie - September 16, 2014 - Report this comment

Not only are Eleanor Rigby and Paperback Writer a matched pair, they're a pair that are also perfect subs, pace-wise for each other. I sensed this even as a kid, as I would sometimes crack kids up by singing out -- Eleanor Rigby ... Eleano-o-o-or! ...... And I am truly humbled to be mentioned in the same post as the Terrific Terrapin. I still think the greatest feat of song parodying legerdemain I've ever seen was when he smooshed "American Pie" into "Wreck of The Edmund FitzGerald" and then did the reverse smoosh, all on the SAME DAY!! ....... And as long as we're on the subject of Turtle-related smooshes, Patrick, you should take a bow for your own smooshing of "Happy Together" and "Wreck of the Edmund FitzGerald" -- "Imagine ship and crew; ore, too" Classic!

Jonathan - September 16, 2014 - Report this comment

the original "Eleanor Rigby" depresses the crap out of me I feel sick for laughing at your new upbeat take on it! :) 5's

Callmelennie - September 16, 2014 - Report this comment

It had the same effect on me as a child when it first came out, Jonathan -- it would almost make me cry, possibly because I had lost one of my grandmothers just a few years before. Could be the reason I cracked myself up when I sang "Eleanor Rigby" to the tune of "Paperback Writer." That jarring juxtaposition which provides relief from a bad emotion is fundamental to humor ..... And if you need to do penance for laughing at "Lonely Bat Rigby", then check out my "Whotles" parody "Baba O'Rigby". It's every bit as depressing as the original ;-D

Brian - September 16, 2014 - Report this comment

Great interplay between both songs, and fantastic to change both of them. Very original take on it.

Susanna Viljanen - September 17, 2014 - Report this comment

I absolutely loved this. Really witty and clever.

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