Somebody tell them his real name is Dan!
Still suffers wrath from irrational fans.
I'm just amazed at how long it's gone on;
They still call him 'Matthew' and MATTHEW'S GONE!

"Matthew, don't you drive that car!
Trucks that big can leave a scar.
Matthew, please don't drive that car,
And, Matthew, we 'loved' you!"

He was the nice one, and he was the heir!
He was so handsome, it just isn't fair.
His day was made, but it gave us a shock,
How some fellow wrote how to kill him off.

"Matthew, don't you drive that car!
Trucks that big can leave a scar.
Matthew, please don't drive that car,
And, Matthew, we 'loved' you!"
Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, BOO!

(Imagine whatever Downton jazz improvisation you like here....)

"Matthew, don't you drive that car!
Trucks that big can leave a scar.
Matthew, please don't drive that car,
And, Matthew, we 'loved' you!"

He said he'd love her until his last breath,
That line's ironic because of his death.
The end's a mess, and if you should ask me,
Why not wrap the SHOW up with season three?

"Matthew, don't you drive that car!
Trucks that big can leave a scar.
Matthew, please don't drive that car,
And, Matthew, we 'loved' you!"

Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, BOO!
Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, BOO!
(Fade out singing this reference to Twitter)