Song Parodies -> "Nixing A Vole"

Original Song Title:

"Fixing A Hole"

Original Performer:

"Nixing A Vole"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Original song on YouTube

I'm nixing a vole ‘fore my lawn gets thin
And stop its windly wandering
There it drills holes

They’re killing the grass that ran through my dough
(I kept my wife from squandering)
There it all goes

And it truly bores a smattering of holes – alright
All thru my lawn at night
I find at dawn
See the rascals standing there
They wink at me – I’ll never win
I wonder when they’ll try get though my door

They’re tainting my blooms in a labyrinth way
It’s unconfined - their gophering
Grass, it can’t grow

Damn this rodent! Doesn’t matter if it’s black or white
Grass I’ve a lack, a blight!
Will it bounce back?
Little critters bum around
They’re scurrying and their en masse, see
Why: I don’t, of them, adore

They’re taking my yard – it’s a tunneling thing
I’ll astroturf it all someday
Then they will go

Predict that these voles: head they will do in
Green, they’ve mined, they’re plundering
Swear it must go
Air it must go
I'm nixing a vole – put a thin stick in
With dynamite asundering
Now they are vo...!!

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Porfle Popnecker - August 28, 2012 - Report this comment

"Nixing a vole" used to be one of my favorite excuses whenever I didn't show up at work.

Rob Arndt - August 28, 2012 - Report this comment

Nice parody-555! And thanks for the OS- I took it and converted it over in 3 minutes writing off the top of my head. I hope "NextGen Zero" is appreciated by someone. As you might guess it's another war topic... I can't help it, I specialize in weapons and warfare. My first choice was "Fu*king A-hole" but who to link it with :-D

John Barry - August 28, 2012 - Report this comment

Dynamite parody, as always.

Meriadoc - August 28, 2012 - Report this comment

Thanks all!

There should have been a note at the top, saying that this parody was inspired by Jackie and her vole troubles.

POP: "The vole ate my homework" was probably your school excuse then? ;)

Rob: glad we could be an inspiration. I find the Beatles pretty dreary myself, but they can be good parody fodder. :)

JB: I've heard of people actually using dynamite to kill moles and such. Dunno how good it is for the lawn though... :O

Nixon: A-Hole - August 28, 2012 - Report this comment

... is how I first read this. ... hey, they could strike oil, or natural gas, and aerate the soil... Doesn't just running the garden hose flush them out? xD - tt

wandlimb - August 30, 2012 - Report this comment

Green grass and vole hides forever.

Meriadoc - August 30, 2012 - Report this comment

Thanks Mr. Nixon and wandlimb. Does a flush beat a vole house?

Tricky Dick - August 31, 2012 - Report this comment

It depends on who's dealing the game. ;)

You have to prevent the water going in from just going out another opening, so that the whole tunnel system floods. You know -- set up some type of water gate.

Peregrin - August 31, 2012 - Report this comment

Leave the hose on for long enough and watch your yard slide downhill... :)

T.D. - August 31, 2012 - Report this comment

Or have a hurricane strike, and watch a lot of people's yards slide downhill, along with their swimming pools, and sometimes, their houses .. ;(

(guess "water-gate" was too US-centric, eh? ;)

Peregrin - September 01, 2012 - Report this comment

Not at all, Tricky Dickie, "I am not a criminal", and all that stuff. Simply missed it, else would have commented. I am sure R. Milhaus would have preferred it had all been water of a duck's back...

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