Tabloid writer (tabloid writer) (tabloid writer).

Dear sir or madam in the checkout line,
I've just thought this up, this story of mine.
It's based on a rumor that I heard last year,
And I need a job, so I got to be a tabloid writer.
Tabloid writer!

It's the crazy story of a crazy man.
His prophetic wife doesn't understand
How she gave to birth to a 28-pound toad.
Now she needs a job, and she wants to be a tabloid writer.
Tabloid writer!

Tabloid writer (tabloid writer) (tabloid writer).

It's a dozen pages give or take a few,
I'll create some more in a week or two.
I can write some gossip if you like the style,
Stories changed around, and that's how to be a tabloid writer.
Tabloid writer!

If you really like it, you can think it's right,
It can ruin a reputation overnight!
If you won't believe it, you can make it clear
That you think I'm wrong, but everyone believes a tabloid writer!
Tabloid writer!

Tabloid writer (tabloid writer) (tabloid writer).

Tabloid writer (Tabloid writer).
Tabloid writer (Tabloid writer).
Tabloid writer (Tabloid writer).
Tabloid writer (Tabloid writer).
(fade out)