Desmond asks his Molly if she'll marry him
Goes to buy a gold engagement ring
Has a heart attack when he finds out the price
And as he's lying there the jeweller starts to sing

Oh-el-di, oh-el-da, you are old, bra
La la, you are getting old
Oh-el-di, oh-el-da, you are old, bra
La la, you are getting old

Desmond pulls his car into the EZ Mart
Needs to fill his tank up with some gas
Desmond hands to Molly a five-dollar bill
And Molly says to him, five dollars my fat ass

Oh-el-di, oh-el-da, you are old, Da
La la, you are getting old
Oh-el-di, oh-el-da, you are old, Da
La la, you are getting old

In a couple of years Molly brings
Their first kid home
And the hospital bills see the bank account
Of Desmond and Molly blown

Crowded the apartment of this family
Desmond seeks an agent for a house
Molly has to catch him when he hears the fee
And as he's passing out, she sings this to her spouse

Oh-el-di, oh-el-da, you are old, Pa
La la, you are getting old
Oh-el-di, oh-el-da, you are old, Pa
La la, you are getting old

In a couple of years their first kid
Is college bound
And the money he owes for tuition bills
Runs Desmond into the ground

Happily retired during their twilight years
Desmond picks up garbage in the street
Molly fixes dog food patties for their lunch
And in the evening they massage each other's feet

Oh-el-di, oh-el-da, we are old, Ma
La la, we have gotten old
Oh-el-di, oh-el-da, we are old, Ma
La la, we have gotten old

And if you think you're young, get oh-el-di, el-da