Patrick - This is wickedly devastating and not without an amount of cringe factor. At the risk of being struck down by a lightning bolt, I say Ph*ck Phred Phelps! ;D

Masterfully wrought iron-clad irony Patrick! Every line a consistent sinner-grinner-winner--

My first thought was swimmer Michael Phelps. My second was Jim Phelps, the IMF boss played by Peter Graves on "Mission: Impossible." That may be the worst thing Fred Phelps can face: People aren't thinking of him! Hopefully, his crusade will self-destruct in 5 seconds. Speaking of the number 5, that's also the rating for this parody.

Michael, I thought of Jim Phelps getting his message on the exploding tape recorder. Perhaps Fred got his word from God the same way. While everyone was fretting about the gun-toting Georgia pastor who threatened to burn a Quran, Phelps actually did burn one. Even the Muslims ignored him. My cousin, who is a Christian, says Phelps is more Islamic in his attitudes than Christian. I bet he approves of how Iran deals with homosexuals, a purple nylon noose and a crane. I first met Fred Phelps back in the early 1980's. He was in Kansas City to take part in a tax protest movement organized by a local State senator. No one could quite pin him down on the gun issue, so most of the local activists began ignoring him even then. He ran for governor, circa 1988 or 1990. Back then his primary issue was property taxes, which he wanted to abolish. I got on his mailing list and received a few "Dim Bulb" reports, mimeographed sheets about then Kansas Governor Joan Finney. That's where I first saw the gay obsession. I do recall seeing some protesters with anti-gay signs at the entrance to the Topeka Expo Center many years ago, but at that time I didn't know who they were. Phelps has been pastor of his family church since the 1950's as I recall. A Lawrence, Kansas film maker produced a documentary with the Phelps family cooperation. They even offered to come picket the theatre to boost attendance, but he turned him down. When I knew him he was a friendly guy, typical right winger, didn't seem much different from anyone you'd meet at your typical gun show or Republican rally, in fact, less rabid than most. Too bad. I have no idea where homosexuality comes from, and don't think it can be changed. I know where taxes come from, and those can be changed when there is the will to do so.

Beat me to it. I was working one one about this POS, but yours is so good I think I'll retire mine. Helps answer the question: what's the matter with Kansas?

Hilarious & great fit with OS. Never heard of him, but he sure does sound like a nutcase.

Fine political spoof and satire

Looking at the State through conservative eyes, and with some knowledge of the border wars and the continuing rivalry with Missouri, I'd say the biggest problem is that Kansas was founded by settlers from Massachusetts, while Missouri was founded by Kentuckians.