1,2,3,4,1,2

Let me tell you how it will be,
There’s none for you, ninety for me,
‘Cause I’m the axeman,
Yeah, I’m the axeman.
Should your foot long appear too long
Be thankful I don’t cut your shlong
‘Cos I’m the axeman,
Yeah, I’m the axeman.

(If you went too far), I’ll axe your feet,
(If you try to pee), I’ll axe your meat,
(If you get too fat), I’ll axe your teet,
(If you try to jump), I’ll tax your feat.
Axeman.

‘Cause I’m the axeman,
Yeah, I’m the axeman.
Don’t ask me whom I do it for
(Axeman! Take a chill pill!)
Since I don’t want to axe your door
(Axeman! Ripped off Jack*!),
‘Cause I’m the axeman,
Yeah, I’m the axeman.

Now my warning for those who lied, (Axeman!)
Prepared a fatwa on the sly, (Taxman!)
‘Cause I’m the axeman,
Yeah, I’m the axeman.
And you’re giving to no-one but me,
(Axeman).