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Song Parodies -> "Billy Mays"

Original Song Title:

"Penny Lane"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Billy Mays"

Parody Written by:

L.D. Obblo

The Lyrics

I found this guy highly annoying - to the point where I almost broke fingers trying to change channels or at least hit the mute button. I'm hoping the ShamWow guy is next.
Ol' Billy Mays is well-renowned for hawking lots of stuff
from Liquid Diamond for your car to Orange-Glo
He can sell ice to an Eskimo
from an Arctic floe.

Back at home there is a car in need of bodywork
We'll try some Fix It Scratch Remover on the paint
Billy's never gotten one complaint
that he's ever heard, not a word

Billy Mays grates on my ears and hurts my eyes
Everything he sells should have a prize
inside, like Cracker-Jacks

Now Billy Mays installed a cactus for his octopus
He says it gives the creature's fur a healthy sheen
If it turns an ugly shade of green
He's got Oxi-Clean

Billy Mays grates on my ears and hurts my eyes
He's just a robot in disguise
incessant yack yack yack

You're now on every single station on my cable guide
But out at PBS there's money you could make
if you can catch the audience awake
during their pledge break

For Billy Mays this has to be the highest compliment
to have your name inside a Beatles parody
It's one I'm more than glad to pay
to Billy Mays, on his dying day

Billy Mays, I thought I'd won, but I was wrong
You got product placements in my song
They slipped right through the cracks

Billy Mays I'm sure that some folks found you dear
I'm just glad I'll never have to hear
Billy Mays

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

ChuckyG - June 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Comments now enabled per author's request!
Mark Scotti - June 29, 2009 - Report this comment
But he couldn't sell the Grim Reaper the idea of a few more years... Only $5.55 and it does it all...
McKludge - June 29, 2009 - Report this comment
The worst are the ESPN adds that he did.
Cody Slusher - June 29, 2009 - Report this comment
He is with the Charlie Angel and the King of Pop.
alvin - June 29, 2009 - Report this comment
billy woulda dug this
blackjack21 - June 30, 2009 - Report this comment

LD, you continue to impress with your poignant parodies, keep them coming.

You get a 5, but wait! Today only you get another 5 for free! Hold everything!! If you call in the next ten minutes, I'll throw in a third 5 absolutely free!!!
L.D. Obblo - June 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Blackjack, thanks for your plaudits. I'm slapping my own forehead over missing what should have been such an obvious part of this song ("But wait, if you call in the next 10 minutes..."). Plenty of geat writers here, so I'll try and learn form them. Thanks ChuckyG for opening the Comments section.
Old Man Ribber - June 30, 2009 - Report this comment
So who's the self important grinch who didn't give this 5-5-5?
DJ Blaze - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
He will be missed. 555. BTW, I shoulda came up with this idea! And if you need a good laugh after crying your eyes out about his death, search "YTP - Suicide Putty" on YouTube.
Michael Pacholek - May 27, 2010 - Report this comment
I don't know how I missed this one the first time around, but you've sold me on it.

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