Hey n00b, be on your guard
You are new here, and have low level
Be patient, watch others and you’ll get smart
Then just hit ‘start’ to test your metal

Hey n00b, you shot my face
Please don’t do that, and I will thank you
You’ll notice that we are on the same team
See what I mean, so I don’t gank you

And anytime you’re calling names, hey n00b, just game
Don’t worry, go quest and get some silver
If others kill you all the time, don’t bitch and whine
Just chill out and practice, you’ll be killer

(spam spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam)

Hey n00b, don’t message me
We’re not buddies, just fellow gamers
Don’t tell me you have a kitty named Lloyd
I’ll get annoyed and you’ll get lamer

And if you ninja all my loot, hey n00b, reboot
Don’t steal all my stuff as I’m explaining
‘It’s never fair and always sucks’, hey n00b, shut up
I told you calm down and stop complaining

(spam spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam)

Hey n00b, I’ll kick your ass
You’re guy killed me, and stole my sweater
I taught you so you'd no longer be bad
Then you back-stabbed, while typing….
'L – M – A – O – L – O – L – O – L – O – L – O – Lllll1l1l11l'

Lame, lame, lame, lame lame lame lame,
I hate this game, la-ame lame

('n00bies' repeats along with the ‘lame’ refrain until fade, such as below)

N00bies, n00b n00b n0000bies n00bie n00bies

Dammit, n00bies, n00bies, b00bies, n00bies...



(OUTTAKES)

Hey n00b, you’re lagging out
I can tell your connection stutters
Get cable, more ram and video cards
It’s not so hard, just bug your mother