Come Ides of April when they are due
a few days from now,
if I've sent my taxes to the IRS
hours ahead to duck the duress
that would attend a last-minute send,
that would flout my norm,
but would it win plaudits
or expose to audits
my 1040 form?

If I’m low-profi-i-i-i-i-i-iled,
and if I raise no flags
that will make me smile.

If I stay simple, don't itemize,
use those Forms "EZ,"
will I keep my anonymity so prized
while by "Uncle" I'm sodomized?
I'll gladly pay on all I can't hide
undetectably,
but I’ll be fretting
that someone’s vetting
my Sched’s A thru' D.

Ev'ry April near the middle of the month I am fraught with fear …
are attempts to sha-a-a-a-a-a-ave
and filter income G’s
smart or risk too grave?

Come Ides of April, front of the line
at the midnight hour,
I’ll hand off that big manila envelope
to the postal clerk and then mope.
“I’ll be more speedy, and not as greedy
now and evermore,”
into my beer I’ll
cry but next year I’ll
do just like before.