Song Parodies -> "Help!"

Original Song Title:

"Help!"

Original Performer:

"Help!"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Sorry for the long intro, but the circumstances surrounding this probably could do with some explanation:

The editor of the Bucks Free Press (my local paper) suggested his readers write in with topical parodies to try and raise a smile... These are the only results published so far. However, after sending my recent "Why do we have a problem with Sharia?" parody (well, it was kind of topical at the time), along with a fairly tongue-in-cheek "I don't why I bother, seeing as I've had no response to the last couple" sort of comment, I got a reply which included this:

"I do apologise for the delay in responding. I should probably write a song about email which takes up most of my life because I receive so many per week and have so much trouble replying to all of them."

So I thought I'd help out...

Help!
The flood is growing
Help!
Inbox overflowing
Help!
Now I need a little Help

When I was asking for some reader parodies
I thought that I'd receive them in just ones or twos or threes
But since my article requesting what you wrote
People have sent me emailed lyrics by the bucket-load

Help me get through all these lovely rhymes
Though I do appreciate it, I've no time
Lord knows when I'll finally reply
Someone please, please help me

Now when I've hit the time I really need it most
My email spam filter has given up the ghost
Replying now, and then I feel so insecure:
I think I've just agreed to get cash from Nigeria

Help me 'cause I'm drowning in the spam
And I don't appreciated attempted scams
I really don't want drugs from Vietnam
Someone please, please help me

When I was asking for your reader parodies
Did not expect them in such massive quantities
But now some weeks have gone I've nearly read 'em all
I've got to choose which ones to use - it's not an easy call

Help me in selecting which to run
'Cause I thought that having all these would be fun
Now I start to wish I'd not begun
Won't you please, please help me
Help me
Help me, ooh

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Stan Hall - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

Great job, Phil. And that it is in the context of its creation topical on top(ical) of topical makes it all the more fun. :-)

Guy - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

I'm going to email this to everyone I know and ask them to email it to ten friends and if they break the chain their inbox will fill with spam at a (LOC) Library of Congress level. Very well written Phil. I liked this very much. You captured the moment perfectly.

alvin - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

especially liked the nigeria line

Invisible Boy - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

Great job Phil. The parodies that were published wouldn't fair too well here I'm afraid.

I really think the "fizzy plonk" should go to you.

Invisible Boy - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

P.S. What's "fizzy plonk" ?

Phil Alexander - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

:-) Thanks, guys
IB - "Fizzy plonk" generally refers to sparkling wine... if you're "posh" (or at least, nouveau riche), it can be assumed you're talking about Champagne, but "cheapest bottle of fizzy plonk I could find" is probably a Tesco's special offer 0.2% abv Perry (in what looks like a wine bottle)

2Eagle - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

Looks like you opened up Pandora's box.

Peregrin - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

I enjoyed this. I looked at your link and thought the "Green Bin" idea had merit, certainly the parody helps to at least take away one's mind from the OS!

MrMacphisto - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

LOL... 5-5-5

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