i get to choose today, oh joy
i'll find a lucky gal who makes the grade
although these choices look quite sad
i'll pull the wheat from chaff
i'll scan these photographs
i threw out all that smoked cigars
i didn't want the one whose sex had changed
a few sent pictures of them, bared
i'd seen this ruse before
nobody was really sure just when those photos had occurred

i'll choose a dame today, oh boy
an english girl or one from singapore ?
or maybe one from uruguay ?
i had another look
one last glance was took
i'd love to have them all

which one...would rock in bed ?
who could cook and keep me fed ?
one with wavy hair or straight in cut ?
a roundish butt...or one with shapely waist ?
hmm hmm hmm
took a vote and said, "that's that"
made a choice in seconds flat
she was great upstairs, her body smoked
someone i could stroke....in other words, a dream

ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahhhh

i met my bride today, uh oh
four hundred pounds and looks that fueled my fear
resembled photo, not at all
she was more wide than tall
now i know the photo was a shot of her when she was small
i'd love to trade her in