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Song Parodies -> "Dollar-Fifty Ho"

Original Song Title:

"When I'm Sixty-Four"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Dollar-Fifty Ho"

Parody Written by:

Rick Cormier

The Lyrics

I just found out that Paul turned 64 this past Sunday. I had started this last week but, figured I should enter it this week so it would appear I know what I'm doing.
South of the border, Mexico way
In Tijuana town
There are women cheaper than a valentine
They don't ask, "Oh, will you be mine?"

If you dish out a quarter or three
Opens up the door
Everywhere, Pacos pimpin' those tacos
Dollar-fifty ho

What's a buck or two?
And, though it sounds absurd,
They will lay with you

I got a dandy! Oh, she was used
But, her lice had gone
So, we got together, brother by her side
Could have had "em both for a five

There, in the garden, doing the deed
Hookers by the score
If you like breathing, Willy needs sheathing
Dollar-fifty ho

Something from her caused a little jock itch
Doc says I'll be right, if I just stay clear
I've been limp for days
Got something for the wife
With the bucks I saved

Sending our postcards, droppin' our dimes
Mating puta's too
Yes, for what works out to "bout an hour's pay
You can buy a queen for a day

Lower your pants, sir. You're in good form
"Ay, ay, ay, senor!"
For chicken feed, she'd kill you, if need be
Dollar-fifty ho

Ho!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   21
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Paul Robinson - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Hey, wait...I'M only 56...OH...you mean the OTHER "Paul". Well, OK...alright, after my damaged ego stopped throbbing I read this and it's REALLY good... funny stuff - "Ho', Ho', Ho'". Yeah, it does kinda look like you know what you are doing, so I'm gonna give ya three nickels for it...Hey, that's less than what those Hookers cost ~ ~ ~
Royce Miller - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Super funny
Mick Benett - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Hillary..ous !
alvin rhodes - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
pacos pimpin' tacos...lol
John Barry - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Laughed my culo off. Cincos, hombre!
Ravyn Rant - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
I always love it when someone makes me cringe and crack up at the same time. 555
Jimi Ray Clapton - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
I'd love to have your mp3 of this !
Johnny D - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
That's one for your nightclub act, Rick ... well, maybe not!
Heather McCartney - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
I just spit tea all over my 'puter screen....lololol ! Poor Sir Paulie ;)
MasonR - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
"Got something for the wife/With the bucks I saved" is brilliant! Ho-ho-ho (I mean, 5-5-5)
AFW - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
I'll take ten, here's three fives...this is catchy..
Stuart McArthur - June 22, 2006 - Report this comment
"Willy needs sheathing" - LOL - and you're right, Rick, even at a dollar fifty, if there's lice, no dice! - 555
PMS - June 22, 2006 - Report this comment
What Ravyn said!!
Red Ant - June 22, 2006 - Report this comment
A buck-fifty for a f*** filthy! Awesome work Rick, and the double meaning of "Got something for the wife/With the bucks I saved" was the best. 555.
Phil Alexander - June 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Say, Rick - you gonna do a sequel about the ladies back home: just by changing the "dollar-fifty" to "fifty dollar"? Brilliant, and extremely funny :-)
Adagio - June 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Funniest parody!! : D I caught that line about "Got something for the wife/With the bucks I saved", too. Wondered what...heh, heh !! 5 s
Rick C - June 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Paul, Royce, Mick, alvin, JAB, Ravyn, Jimi Ray, JD (who knows, I might try it with an out-of-tune brass section doing the clarinet parts), Heather, MasonR, AFW, Stu (lice, no dice LOL), PMS, Red Ant, Phil (I think it's more like $100 back home but, I couldn't tell you from personal experience) and Adagio ( I'm not quite sure what either but, I'm sure I don't want it).
Phil Alexander - June 24, 2006 - Report this comment
OK, Rick... howsabout:
When I went back down Mexico way
To Tijuana town
Thought that I could have myself a real good time
Inflation was way outta line

Offered a nickel - offered a dime
She kept wanting mo'
I became pensive: she's too expensive
Fifty-dollar ho'

:-)
Rick C - June 24, 2006 - Report this comment
You're right, Phil. It does work that way too. :-)
Adagio - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM Already voted and commented.
Cat - July 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "If you like breathing, Willy needs sheathing"....Hahahahahaha! Brilliant, Rick.
Max Power - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-Good
tomario - July 18, 2006 - Report this comment
its strange reading a parody of a song that you've done nice work
wannabemustangjockey - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Weird...I honestly thought I commented on this earlier in the month. It's interesting, seems a bit awkward because I haven't heard the OS in a long time, but very creative.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Well, if Sir Paul's wife takes him for all he's worth in the divorce he might have to go to Tijuana for his booty too. :-)
Kristof Robertson - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm SURE I left a previous comment for this...time to up the Prozac. Undeniably GENIUS work, I had to change me solomons after reading this. 555+++
Johnny D - July 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still a nasty classic!
Stuart McArthur - July 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) ho hum, yes another brilliant piece from Rick C, and see above :-)
bobpiecheese - July 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Don't you think it's weird that every time I read one of your parodies for a SOTM, I never have a clue what the hell you're on about? You won't hold it against, will you? Sorry! It's also a doube bummer that I DKTOS as well. Please don't hurt me.
Red Ant - July 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Tijuana is not the only place you can spend a $1.50 to get some action. (Warning: long story follows) Many years ago, when I was in prototype school in Ballston Spa, NY, several of my friends and I got the idea to head to Montreal, since the drinking age there was 18, and we weren't 21 yet. In a nutshell, the plan was to go barhopping, then head to an strip joint to get 'in the mood', then head to a dance club to hook up and hopefully get some action. The barhopping went well (too well perhaps...) and by the time we were in the 'adult lounge' called Club Super Sex, we were too trashed to proceed with the final part of our Beavis and Butt-head-style plan. To make a long story short (too late!), my cheeks scored from a dancer as she took a $2 Canadian bill from my mouth, in a most unusual and sensual way. Since the exhange rate at the border at the time was $1.35/$1, that worked out to a dollar fifty.... perhaps the best buck fifty I ever spent!

Oh, see above, and for outstanding humor, pacing, the PSA, as well as the trip down memory lane, my five points are going here. Please, PLEASE record this; I know you already have a soundfile for it.
Rick C - July 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Working my way backwards to comments this time and FINALLY figuring out how to start new sentences and paragraphs (thanks to Red Ant) here goes:

Thanks, Jack, I do have a file but, haven't made any recordings in a while since the only people that seem to like them are you and I. Sounds like the makings of a great "B" movie.

bobpiecheese, I'm sorry you don't understand me, neither does my wife. No, I won't hold it against you, nor hurt you. I appreciate your honesty :-)

Thanks, Stu LOL

Thanks, JD. When it comes to "nasty" you were one of my mentors.

Kristof, I'm not sure how to respond to that but, I do appreciate it, my friend.

K1, you always leave the funniest comments, thanks:-)

wannabe, thanks for popping in.

Thanks, Tomario.

Thank you, Max.

Happy to bring a smile to you, Cat. Wait, that's a different story.

Adagio, thanks for everything lately.
Arwen - July 31, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM...some frightening visuals...I was disturbed by the bit about her lice and her brother...but excellent job here, Rick!

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