Song Parodies -> "Just As Dumb As Bush"

Original Song Title:

"Yellow Submarine"

Original Performer:

"Just As Dumb As Bush"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Now that John Kerry has released his college grades, his overall average looks about the same as that of George Bush the Younger. So either way, we would have elected a president with a C average from Yale. But then, later in life, JK did something smart. He married a billionaire.

Some say Kerry's really smart
Was a Yale man, sailed the seas
But his grades do not impress
As a freshman, got some D's

They say Dubya's not too swift
Went to Yale on daddy's fame
As we look at Kerry's grades
He and Bush look 'bout the same

Turns out Kerry's just as dumb as Bush
Just as dumb as Bush, he's as dumb as Bush
Turns out Kerry's just as dumb as Bush
Just as dumb as Bush, he's as dumb as Bush

College records he released
And our questions all have ceased
'Cause his transcript we can read
[brief instrumental]

Turns out Kerry's just as dumb as Bush
Just as dumb as Bush, he's as dumb as Bush
Turns out Kerry's just as dumb as Bush
Just as dumb as Bush, he's as dumb as Bush

[spoken, while guitar chords play]
Vote on my nominees, you Senators, up or down.
Filibuster ahead, Mr. Bolton. Cut a deal, Mr. Frist.
We've confirmed Owens, Owens

[back to singing]
As he lives his life of ease (a life of ease)
Heinz's fortune's all he needs (is all he needs)
All her dough's a sea of green (sea of green)
Pass the ketchup, doctor Dean (eeeeeeyyaaaaaaaaaahh)

Turns out Kerry's just as dumb as Bush
Just as dumb as Bush, he's as dumb as Bush
Turns out Kerry's just as dumb as Bush
Just as dumb as Bush, he's as dumb as Bush

Turns out Kerry's just as dumb as Bush
Just as dumb as Bush, he's as dumb as Bush
Turns out Kerry's just as dumb as Bush
Just as dumb as Bush, he's as dumb as Bush

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John Jenkins - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment

Full speed ahead, Mr. Kalafut. Outstanding parody! This revelation makes it clearer why Ms. Heinz-Kerry has gone back to calling herself Ms. Heinz and why she had Senator Kerry sign a pre-nup agreement before she married him.

George Bush - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment

This is inconsolably accurist. But John Kerry doesn't have my unherring abilitropy to use exactionably the right vocambulance.

Michael Pacholek - June 12, 2005 - Report this comment

Bush: "I went into Iraq because the enemy attacked us." Kerry: "Saddam Hussein did not attack us on September 11. Osama bid Laden did." If you still think Kerry, or any other Democrat, is just as dumb as Bush, then YOU are just as dumb as Bush.

Steve K. - June 12, 2005 - Report this comment

Just remember, Mike: Kerry voted against the war, just after he voted for it (or was that vice versa?). Kerry also claimed that Nixon illegally ordered him into Cambodia in Christmas of 1968. This is interesting because Tricky Dick wasn't even president in 12/1968, but began his term on 1/20/1969. There are two possible explanations: either JK's "seared-SEARED" memory is faulty, or he's just as much a liar as Bush. By the way, as a frosh JK got 4, count 'em, 4 D's. It would be interesting to find out why he was even allowed to continue, especially since unlike Bush, he didn't have a legacy dad. But I still have to give JK credit for smartening up enough to marry a billionaire, thus allowing him to live at the "rich" end of the "gap between the rich and poor" that his party claims to decry.

Jeffrey - June 12, 2005 - Report this comment

Very well stated Michael. And Steve, unlike fathead Bush Kerry knows a mistake when he sees one and corrects it instead of waisting more and more lives and continuing to push his lies. Plus Bush "flip-flopped" 5 times on why he felt we had to attack Iraq.

malcolm higgins - June 12, 2005 - Report this comment

ahh, I see you got your obligatory 1-1-1 from some pinko leftist asshole. lest a "pro right wing" song get popular, get the 1-1-1 in there right away. great parody by the way.. and kerry did flip flop 5-5-5 times on iraq. i flipped 5-5-5 for this good work, and slam the lefties!

Michael Pacholek - June 13, 2005 - Report this comment

The "pinko leftist asshole" was me, Malcolm. Big talk from somebody who admittedly isn't even from this country. By giving this thing all ones, I've defended the United States of America far better than the damned idiot in the Oval Office ever has. If Steve K wants to rip any of my honest liberal parodies, let him. He has every right to be wrong again.

John Jenkins - June 13, 2005 - Report this comment

On one hand, Mr. Pacholek deserves credit for being man enough to admit to voting 1s. But, on the other hand, anybody who votes 1s on this parody is either having a bad day or is not qualified to assess "dumbness."

Offender - June 26, 2005 - Report this comment

Ha ha ha! Another onester reveals himself. Not that I agree with your assessment of onesterism, Jenkins, but something to remember is that Pacholek (and Tong, and all of the other leftists on this site) have been having almost nothing but bad days since Bush got re-elected.

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