try to free the airways
guess i'll have to keep on knockin'
till the bumps are gone
crooked as a stairway
there's a risk of growin'
and already, its too long
we convert your snout
we convert your snout

look what you're displayin'
god, it looks all wrong
but for a fee, i'll set it right
what a price, you're payin'
but i'll knock you out
and make it straight, this very night
we convert your snout
we convert your snout

some are very short
and we don't mind
those snoots are delightful, my friend
but that beak of yours...is such a crime
so let me ask you once again

i can mend it my way
only time will tell
if i did right or if there's flaws
if you hit the highway
there's a chance that you might see a quack
you'll wreck your schnozz
we convert your snout
we convert your snout

pry those nasal ports
and you'll feel fine
they're cluttered and frightenin', my friend
get them cleared of snot
while there's still time
so let me ask you once again

let me fix those byways
you can finally smell
its just not right, to wait so long
its been growin' sideways
there's a chance that it might blow apart before too long
we convert your snout
we convert your snout