One night I had the diarrhea streaming
For I don't know how long
I've always had an iron stomach until
Those damn curried Kung Pao prawns
My doc examined me
This was her remedy when she said,

("No curry, Bobby......") "No curry, Bobby,"
("No curry, Bobby......") "With the runs you'll be up all night!"
("No curry, Bobby......") "No curry, Bobby,"
("No curry, Bobby......eww-eww....")

Went to a fancy restaurant it was our
Fifteenth anniversary
I said, "I know just what I want," she said,
"No, Bob, please leave it up to me!"
I yearned for curried lamb,
Or curried goat with Spam, and she said,

("No curry, baby......") "No curry, baby,"
("No curry, baby......") "You'll be stuck on the pot all night!"
("No curry, baby......") "No curry, baby,"
("No curry, baby......eww-eww....")

(Instrumental: toilet seats opening/closing, flushing sounds, grunting)

My mom prepared a great Thanksgiving meal
Although it looked unusual
I kept on loading up on turkey, eating more
And getting way too full
Mom says, to my surprise,
"Them's ain't no turkey thighs," and she says,

("Tofurkey, baby......") "Tofurkey, baby......"
("Tofurkey, baby......") And it made me throw up all night!
("Tofurkey, baby......") Tofurkey gravy!
("Tofurkey, baby......") What a thing to throw up all night!
("Tofurkey, baby......") Tofurkey gravy!
("Tofurkey, baby......") Had my face in the pot all night!
("Tofurkey, baby......") Tofurkey gravy!
("Tofurkey, baby......") And it made me just rolf all night!
("Tofurkey, baby......") Tofurkey gravy!..........