Song Parodies -> "Bomb Ukraine"

Original Song Title:

"Barbara Ann"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

The Beach Boys

Parody Song Title:

"Bomb Ukraine"

Parody Written by:

Immoral Liberal

The Lyrics

In a darkly comedic twist, some of the very fools responsible for provoking this accursed war in Ukraine in the first place (which actually began back in 2014; the invasion in 2022 was merely the latest development in the ongoing hostilities) are now sending Ukraine cluster munitions to "defend" itself. Considering what cluster munitions do and the primary purpose they serve (i.e. area denial; they're horrible for anyone looking to conquer or reclaim land from an enemy), I'm reminded of an old Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode in which some Ferengi strike breakers looking to bring down a labor union boss most ironically end up beating the crap out of the very employer who called them in to help break the strike because as the union boss's brother, he's also arguably his closest relative. Whatever their exact motives are, those "allies" who approve of sending cluster munitions to the Ukraine clearly do not have the Ukrainian people's best interests at heart.

(This parody is based on this version of the song, which I think is the original radio edit.)

A-bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine;
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine.

Bomb Ukra-a-aine,
'Til none rema-a-ain;
All are sla-a-ain.
We wanna drive the Russians from it?
Got to cluster-bomb it.
Bomb Ukraine;
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine.

Aid that we sent couldn't make a dent
In Russian lines; cluster bombs must now be sent
To bomb Ukraine!
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine.
It's insa-a-ane!
(So insane!)
We don't want Russia to devour it?
Only way to scour it:
Bomb Ukraine;
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine. (Crap show!)

Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine;
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine.

War crime's sta-a-ain,
Innocents sla-a-ain
Saves Ukra-a-aine...
Leaving duds to blow up women,
Duds to blow up children
With the men.
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine.
This blows!

[Background NATO chatter.]

"Yikes!"
"Ouch!"
"This is nuts!"
"What a fiasco!"
"Joe and his rectal head shove!"
"We really doin' this?"
"Let me get this straight: to save Ukraine we gotta destroy it?"
"Come on, man!"
"We can build back better, is that what you're saying?"
"It'll be the most diverse, most inclusive, most equitable war crime ever!"

[Song resumes after a couple of false starts.]

(Rigged—)
(Fort—)

Installed some fools:
Geezer who drools,
Globalist tools,
Harlots, and bloodthirsty ghouls.
Bomb Ukraine.
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine.
(Waste the land.)
It's insa-a-ane!
(Weapons banned.)
With all the weapons that we gave it,
Waste Ukraine to save it!
Bomb Ukraine;
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine.

Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine;
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine.

It's insa-a-ane,
Wasting Ukra-a-aine
'Til none rema-a-ain!
With cluster bombs to slaughter women,
Bombs to slaughter children
With the men.
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine.

Strange demand: second-hand
weapons banned to waste land;
Slay one's own civilians.
Just to drive out Russians,
We gotta flood the land with old
Illegal munitions.
Bomb Ukraine;
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ukraine!

Also, the ostensible reason the Ukraine is receiving these munitions is that it and its "allies" are running low on munitions in general—which rather contradicts this narrative we've been hearing the last few months that the Ukraine is winning and Russia is on the back foot. Clearly, somebody's lying here, and I'm pretty sure that "somebody" is the side pretending everything is fine even while claiming it needs to send the Ukraine these highly offensive (and hardly at all defensive) forbidden weapons to "defend" itself—by bombing itself.

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CML - July 17, 2023 - Report this comment

If I were in a fortified dugout in a trench line, and I heard what sounded like a 155mm shell coming, I'd pray that it was a cluster bomb .. because the thing breaks apart into numerous bomblets which wont harm you at all. Meanwhile a direct hit by a normal 155mm shell might collapse your shelter. OTOH, if Ukraine uses them, then Russia will have no problem using them when Ukraine is on the offensive ... which is what the things are designed for in the first damn place! So someone in NATO really stomped on their dick this time.

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