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Song Parodies -> "Toobin USA"

Original Song Title:

"Surfin' USA"

Original Performer:

The Beach Boys

Parody Song Title:

"Toobin USA"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

So, apparently the Jeffrey Toobin, Zoomid20 masturbavirus is catching, as an eighth grade teacher aide has also been caught doing the wanky panky on Zoom. So in tribute to Jeff for inspiring this new movement ....
If every pervert had some lotion
Across the USA
Then every pervert's masturbin
The Jeffrey Toobin way
You'll see them dropping their Haggar's
And tighty-whities, too
And busting, busting their gonads
Toobin, USA

And we'll be tugging on WhatsApp (Inslide, Outslide ZoomSA)
And on the family Skype (Inslide, outslide ZoomSA)
Goto Meeting and FaceTime (Inslide, Outslide ZoomSA)
Australia's Tinderline (Inslide, Outslide ZoomSA)
All over Ann's Snapshot
And down the DeviantArt way
Everybody's masturbin'
Toobin USA

We're all planning our excuse
We're gonna need real soon
We're waxing down our dolphins
We can't wait for Zoom
We'll all be banned from the news rooms
A bunch of jag offs to stay
Tell Jeff Zucker* we're 'turbin
Toobin USA

Instagram and Tik Tok
Pacific Pinterest
OKCupid and Grindr
Redondo Beach MySpace
All over the Next Door
And at the WeChat Bay
Tell the Zucker we're tube-in'
Toobin ZoomSA

(Cue weirdly apropos, 15-second climactic organ solo)

Everybody gone 'turbin' ... Toobin, USA
Everybody's gone tube-in ... Toobin, USA
It's so very disturbin' .... Toobin, USA
Someone contact Dick Durbin* .... Toobin, USA

Yeah, everybody's MASS 'turbin .... Toobin, USA

*Jeff Zuckerberg -- CEO of CNN ..... Dick Durbin -- Illinois Senator whose first name just happens to be a slang word for penis (but you knew that) He was also known in high school as a master debator, which helps to explain why he is now a Senator

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arch Vile - March 01, 2021 - Report this comment
This song is creating the hottest of hot takes of my lower half. Good thing this is wintertime still.

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