Well since you clicked around
There’s been bots screwing in your drive
You believe ev’ry plight
That’s in emailin’ I just can contrive

Well, connin’ you takes no time
And you’re sure an easy mark for crime
You’re gonna help me con ya
Help my swindle-scamical art

Help me con ya, help, help me con ya
Number’s drawn yeah, your number’s drawn yeah!
Lot’ry won ya! Lot, lot’ry won ya!
Fee to charge ya, wee fee to charge ya
Gotchur card yeah, got credit card yeah!
Dupe ya are, yeah, dupe, dupe ya are yeah
Help me con ya yeah, get your life torn apart

I will show you scheming, rife
Apply a megabyte-y flimflam
Gonna get a suss franchise, chain letters
And a pyramid plan

Well, I’ll con ya and you’ll be mine
And I can phish you, now you’re caught online
I’m gonna sell you gold bricks
Lead, with paint? I swear that they aren’t...

Help me con ya help, help me con ya
Call from grandma, call, call from grandma
In Rwanda, stuck in Rwanda
Such a pawn yeah, such, such a pawn yeah
People Finder, peo, people finder!
Month free, try ya! month, month free try ya!
Help me con ya yeah, click and type in your card!

Click on emails! Click links in emails!
Send your details, send banking details
Yes! Respond-a, your cash, I’ll squander
Help Mbgwuma, help Miss Mbgwuma
Dough to launder, dough, dough to launder
Help me con ya, (cash in Uganda!)
Help me con ya yeah, “Bless you friend all my heart!”