Well, he's upstairs in his room
And he's surfing up there on his new PC
Seems he's been surfin' on those web2 websites
That are terribly sleazy
And with the wireless broadband, it's
More than just a little bit easy

And he'll watch porn, porn, porn
'Til his willy really withers away
(Porn, porn, porn 'til his willy really withers away)


Well, the girls he watches
As they walk, talk, and get on their kneeses
(They get on their kneeses, get on their kneeses)
As she teases and pleases, better hope
It don't happen: she sneezes
(Hope she don't sneeze, no, hope she don't sneeze)
Because the reflex action
As her jaw shuts, she's biting.. oh Jesus!
(Biting, oh Jesus, biting oh Jeeez)

And he'll watch porn, porn, porn
'Til his willy really withers away
(Porn, porn, porn will his willy really wither away?)

(organ/guitar solo)

Well, you ought to have known
That you should have cleared your browser hist'ry
(You should've cleared it, should've been cleared)
And where those viruses came from, hell
It wasn't really much of a myst'ry
(You should have AV, oh, freakin' A)
But now the PC won't start
'Cause of something that's stuck in the reg-istry
(PC has died now, PC has died)

'Cause he watched porn, porn, porn
'til his hard disk went all floppy that day
(Porn, porn, porn, 'til his hard disk went all floppy that day)

'Cause he watched porn, porn, porn
'til his PC fell in pieces, OK
(Porn, porn, porn, 'til his PC fell in pieces, no way)


[repeat to fade]:
Porn, porn, porn 'til his willy really withers away
Porn, porn will his willy really wither away?