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Song Parodies -> "Ain’t Right, the Quondam Pizza Clown"

Original Song Title:

"The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down"

Original Performer:

The Band

Parody Song Title:

"Ain’t Right, the Quondam Pizza Clown"

Parody Written by:

Violet T. Riol

The Lyrics

Herman Cain is his name and a scourge is the man it’s plain
He loves to harass the dames, a payoff made way back when*
He’s fixated on 4 and 5, thinks that these number will make him thrive**
His triple-9 plan for the well-to-do will
Make their lives even more swell

Ain’t right, the quondam Pizza Clown
His numbers will be sinkin’
When light shines on the Pizza Clown
And ends the Kool-Aid drinkin’
He goes 9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9--

Says he’s pro-life but then we see him say gals have liberty***
To end pregnancy, is this hypocrisy?
Nope, he just ain’t understood
Cuz he can’t grasp the issues too good
Yet still he leaves in the dust the rest
Of the whole pac. pack, all so bad that none’s the best

Ain’t right, the dolt with Pizza crown
His numbers will be sinkin’
When light shines on the Pizza Clown
And folks really start thinkin’
He goes 4,5-4,5-4,5-4,5-4,5--

He ran Godfathers pizza, was a junkfood man
And now he’s going to bother us with his junk skewed plan
(Shill for the evil Koch Brothers—two dudes who wreck our land)
Ads with Koch suckup who brays
While he blows smoke out the camera way****
First swears that no money went to beat
Charges that Cain’s in rut, then says charges mete

Ain’t right, the doltish Pizza Clown
His numbers will be sinkin’
When light shines on the Pizza Clown
And folks then see cracked thinkin’
They’ll go, “Out of his mind-mind-mind--”


*After initially denying any recollection of the incidents surrounding charges of inappropriate interactions with women who worked under him more than a decade ago, White House hopeful Herman Cain is slowly dripping out details of what happened.
**Notes nymag.com, among others: “Open up Herman Cain's book, This Is Herman Cain!, flip to chapter nine (of course), and you'll see in big type at the top: "Forty-Five — A Special Number." According to the Daily Beast's Michelle Cottle, Herman Cain has a worrying obsession with numerology and even writes in his book that, "45 keeps on popping up as I go about the business of being elected — you guessed it — as the forty-fifth president of the United States."
***The sparring among the Republican candidates over the issue began after Herman Cain told CNN’s Piers Morgan Wednesday that while he is personally against abortion, the decision should ultimately lie with the family facing the choice — not the government.
“It ultimately gets down to a choice that the family or that mother has to make,” Cain told Morgan. “Not me as president, not some politician, not a bureaucrat. It gets down to that family. And whatever they decide. I shouldn’t have to tell them what decision to make for such a sensitive issue.”
Cain’s comments deviate from conservative Republican doctrine, which calls for a ban on all abortions. Cain has been leading in the polls, and the comments opened him up to a slew of attacks from competing candidates.--ABC News
****Cain and Mark Block, the smoking sleazebag in Cain’s bizarre ad, are stooges for the Kochs.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Steve-O - November 03, 2011 - Report this comment
He doesn't seem to make a very good Caindidate for election! He should abort his run!
Michael Pacholek - November 03, 2011 - Report this comment
O the irony of using a lament for the defeated Confederacy against a black Republican -- but then, in 1861, the Democrats were the conservatives and the Republicans were the liberals. Until they saw how much money they could make. Well done, Violet.
Andria - November 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Great one... Herman Cain has no chance of being elected, even Rev. Terry Jones has a higher chance due to Tea Party support. 5s.

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