Every time I watch a Tom and Jerry toon
It fills me with hostility
Cause I'm the kind of person who loves cats
Instead of mice, so here's my fantasy

When finally Tom gets Jerry
And does he ever give him kicks and hit him with a stick
Until that mouse is black and blue
Or maybe dump the little chump into an envelope and mail him
Straight to Timbuktu
When they met Tom was always the clown
Now that stupid rodent's finally goin' down
He's goin' down

When sweet revenge is the hinge
In the minds of guys like me
Who see the mouse must pay
And when the same old chase replaces
The injustice that takes place
When mouse gets aced today

And finally Tom gets Jerry
And does he ever kick his ass and make him eat Bermuda grass
Instead of yummy cheese
Will Jerry run around
When Tom begins to pound him on the head
With frozen English peas
When they met Tom was always the brunt
Now that stupid mouse is gonna get the punt
Gettin' the punt, bop doo wah

[SOLO]

And when the banquet is laid out without
The stunned and hungry mouse
Who's flung across the yard
The clueless people get to keep all of
Their rich delicious food
And Tom gets his reward

When finally Tom gets Jerry
And do you want to see the cat not told to scat
But growing fat on luscious bowls of cream
The stupid apes at last appreciate their cat is great
The answer, to their fondest mouseless dreams?
When they met Tom was always the chump
Now that stupid mouse is gonna get his lumps
Gettin' his lumps
Gettin' his lumps
Gettin' his lumps
Gettin' his lumps