I'm just an old jack of all trades, and masterful of none
Lucky when I eat hot dogs, they stay in the bun
I often walk out of my shoes, just strollin' down the streets,
So the wife ought 'a know...my lack of skills, can't put down toilet seats..

Hangin' paper on the wall
That she bought down at the mall
Mixin' up the corn starch paste
Scissor trimmin' off the waste..
Measurin' each strip and matchin'
All these patterns, too
Please don't tell me, it's easy to do..

She chose it for our small son's room, it's animals & junk
One mis-match made the rabbit look a lot more like a skunk
I goofed a little when I hung a tiger with a crouch
Too close to the kangaroo, he's sittin' in his pouch..

Hangin' paper on the wall
That she bought down at the mall
Mixin' up the cornstarch paste
Scissor trimmin' off the waste..
Measurin' each strip and matchin'
All these patterns, too
Please don't tell me, it's easy to do..

I dropped my cellphone in the glop, left foot's glued to a roll
Had to buy more cornstarch when the dog drank down a bowl
Finally the jobs all done, I'll never hang no more
When I go to show my wife, she's pasted to the door..

Hangin' paper on the wall
That she bought down at the mall
Mixin' up the cornstarch paste
Scissor trimmin' off the waste..
Measurin' each strip and matchin'
All these patterns, too
Please don't tell me, it's easy to do..

Don't tell me it's easy to do..