I keep starin’, wantin’ more than stouts from tappin’ lass
but any thoughts she’s diggin’ me are nonsense, I guess.
If I start walkin’ to the loo, I’ve wood that’s urgin’ “Run!”
Adieu, now, bartend’r, I’ll scurry out, see, to have a spot of fun …

Chorus:
Spendin’ hours in the stall
splattin’ splotches on the wall,
having solitary fun
with my p*cker. And when done,
nope, I won’t forget to wash my wankin’ hands. (Would you?)
Now don’t you see … it’s fun in the loo?

Past tight, I’m messed up, wasted, on a bender, drunken clown,
but ’long as my Jim Beam stays hard no blow-off gets me down.
Tho’ she won’t give up nought to me I’ll steal to loo and climb
into a stall and locked up in there I’ll have me quite a time …

[Chorus]

It’s good to see her even tho’ we won’t hook up tonight,
’cause anyway I’ll keep on lustin’, Hey, that’s my right!
If unenthused “Miss Hot and Buxom” seems regardin' me,
well, I’ll just go dashin’ to the mens room and place my bum on seat …

[Chorus]

Now don’t you see … it’s fun in the loo?