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Song Parodies -> "Nothing'll Solve A Problem Like A Beer"

Original Song Title:

"How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria"

Original Performer:

Sound of Music Soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"Nothing'll Solve A Problem Like A Beer"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

mmm, beer......
Nothing can solve a problem like a beer
Never'll be a sorrow you can't drown
Nothing dissolves a problem like a beer
a Stella Artois, a Heinekin, a Crown

Most of the time the answer is a lager
Drown dilemmas with a pint of ale
so
when your team's been beat
your lover's indiscreet
your loony neighbour just broke out of jail...

Nothing'll solve the problem like a beer
well - nothing that you
don't have to inhale

At the fridge don't get confused
it don't matter which you choose
there's a million brands (but still barely enough)
work out how disturbed you feel
then just spin that amber wheel
maybe Carlsberg, maybe Kirin, maybe Duff

or - why not try a mix
of a randomly-picked six
say Fosters / Bock / Duff / Bud / Fudd / Lowenbrau
you'll be fine as they go in
then the room begins to spin
and your NEW problem is how to keep them down

But nothing'll fix that problem like a beer
wait til "intake 1" evacuates
Then perform the backfill with more beer
a Heinekin, a Tuborg, a Cascade

Beer can fix all medical conditions
cirrhosis? take eight pints and go to bed
but, if you don't need rest
head to Oktoberfest
ein stein and you'll be E-as-MC-squared

Nothing can solve a problem like a beer
Nothing can beat that
frothy foaming head

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 0
 
 2   1
 1
 2
 
 3   2
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 2
 
 5   16
 18
 16
 

User Comments

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Jeff Reuben - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
You are a Man of my Mantra! On principle alone, this has to be one of my favorite parodies. Or at least one where I can sit back, relax, grab a brew and sing the tune. Never had a Stella Artois, good (Austrailian?)
Stuart McArthur - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I am indeed that man, Jeff - but you don't know Stella Artois? It's Belgian, and it's my favourite beer - especially icy cold from the tap - as God is my witness, we shall share one one day :-)
Phil Alexander - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Wonderful, Stuart. The Oktoberfest/Ein Stein/E as MC squared link was truly inspired.
AFW - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I'll blow the foam off three, five inch mugs for this
Stuart McArthur - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Phil and AFW (like the 5-inch gag)
alvin rhodes - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
and ergo, TWO beers can solve twice as many problems...funny concept...5s
Johnny D - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
5s ... I take it that "beer" is a two-syllable word in Australian, eh? "Beeya!"
Stuart McArthur - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks alvin

thanks Johnny - isn't it also two syllables over there? we pronounce it like "fear," or like Jim Morrison used to pronounce "fire"
John Jenkins - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Very clever parody, Stuart. But you didn't mention Foster's; and the people who market it in the U.S. tell us that it's Australian for beer.
Stuart McArthur - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I mentioned in line 22, John

In fact nobody actually drinks Fosters over here - VB (Victoria Bitter) is made by the same company and represents something like 80% of beer sales in Australia - it's Russell Crowe's favourite brand, and an endless supply of it is one of his reasonable demands written into every movie contract
Agrimorfee - September 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(abc05) Wowsers! I love how you managed to find beers for each "flibertygibbit" line and make them work! A 555ml stein for you of a foine lager, or as we are inclined to say now...a BEE-YAH!
Stuart McArthur - September 16, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks Agri - yes I should mention that in every line finishing in "beer" it should be pronounced "bee-yah" (preferably in an Aussie accent) - as Agri points out
Dominic L. - September 16, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC-Don' t know the song! sorry
Red Ant - September 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Funny work, liked the "ein stein and you'll be E-as-MC-squared" line the best.
Adagio - September 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) DKTOS, but a good read.
Rick D - September 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I liked this. In the "Pirates of Penzance " the line goes something like
We are brave and loyal men
And we're quite devoid of fe-ar
In all the Royal N
There are none so brave as we are
So that's how I'm pronouncing "Be-ar" to make it scan
Rick D - September 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I meant "The H.M.S. Pinafore" Had a senior moment, man.
Johnny D - September 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Don't sweat it, Rick D ... whenever I have a Pint-or-four, a peenior moment isn't far away. Oh yeah, good job (again), Stu.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) 'nothing that you don't have to inhale'... 'ein stein'... glorious work, Stu, and a fine sentiment indeed.
Gonfunko - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Great job...I'm gonna have to stick with gatorade for a few more years, though.
Rick C - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Stu, don't know how I missed this. I try to read all your stuff. Brilliant! Loved the "ein stein" line..high fives.
Kristof Robertson - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) How in tarnation did I miss this? Sheer brilliance, and to my fave SOMusic tune....AND you've given me an idea for a parody, you frackin' star! 555
Peter Andersson - October 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Truly an Oktoberfest hymn! I'm going for the namedropping thingy myself in my upcoming Bon Jovi parody, maybe you'll learn some new brand names then (Kirin and Cascade was new to me here, I take it they are pretty OK?).
leo jay - October 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Very clever! Well done.
TT - April 09, 2006 - Report this comment
"nothing that you don't have to inhale" LOL. I might have to make that 5 beers.
Matthias - January 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Boozey-full!!!
bobpiecheese - January 15, 2007 - Report this comment
(Decathlon - Event 10) Isn't it funny that the two parodies in this event that are about beer were written by Aussies? Although it's quite unnerving that I'm underage...anyways, well done, Stu!
Kristof Robertson - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(DEC10) bobpie's got a point, Stu...I've been away from Oz too long, as I'm now no longer thinking about beer 20+ hours a day! As said before, this was wonderful.
Johnny D - January 20, 2007 - Report this comment
(DEC) See above
See above
See above
See above
Now you're p*ssin' on your foot, mate!
Arwen - January 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Decathlon...not being a drinker myself, I hope it makes you feel good that you've almost got me convinced...; ) Nice job, Stu.
Josh 2 - January 23, 2007 - Report this comment
DKTOS but have some 5's anyways

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