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Song Parodies -> "My Least Favorite Things"

Original Song Title:

"My Favorite Things"

Original Performer:

Sound of Music soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"My Least Favorite Things"

Parody Written by:

lifeliver

The Lyrics

The great thing about fooling with this song is they run through the whole thing twice, which means I get two goes at it. Whoopee! And a double helping for you, dear reader. Mercifully, the fabulous Julie Andrews is still with us, but alas, her voice is not. I sure would have liked to hear her sing this.
MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGS

Ring-things on noses and whiskers on maidens
Loud heavy-metals and grungy bad-played-'uns
Suspender stockings and sleazy G-strings
These are a few of my least fav'rite things

Dun-colored hoodies that cuss and swear oodles
Schoolbells, alarm bells and streudels with noodles
Wild crow that caws when its neighbor sweet sings
These are a few of my least fav'rite things

Girls in hair stylings that look like car crashes
Red and black gunk on their lips and eyelashes
Golden seductions that melt into stings
These are a few of my least fav'rite things

When the bitch bites
When the bag swings
When I'm on a bad
I simply remember my least fav'rite things
Then I get really mad

Raindrops on laptops and soggy drowned kittens
Custody battles and sodden wool mittens
Brown vapor hackages when bimbo sings
These are a few of my least fav'rite things

My Little Ponies and precocious poodles
Dog smells and cat smells, likewise human boodles
Wild waves that churn my fragile inner things
These are a few of my least fav'rite things

Pretty white dresses with vomit in splashes
Snowflakes that stay in my cuts and my gashes
Silver white seniors trying to sing
These are a few of my least favorite things

When the spouse fights
When my neck wrings
When I'm feeling low
I simply remember my least fav'rite things
Then my mind starts to go
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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
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 4   2
 2
 1
 
 5   10
 10
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

lifeliver - August 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Please note typo correction to penultimate verse, line 3 - it should read 'Wild waves that churn my fragile INNERLINGS (neologism) Sorry 'bout that
Peregrin - August 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Good stuff LL, you had me at the first line. Among my faves: "Brown vapor hackages when bimbo sings" and all of the third verse!
John Barry - August 29, 2012 - Report this comment
My favorite sing of the day!
lifeliver - August 30, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks for punny comment, John. @ Peregrin - relieved you liked the line you singled out. I was worried I might get my poetic license suspended for that one.
Phil Alexander - August 30, 2012 - Report this comment
:-) Excellent stuff.
Tommy Turtle - September 04, 2012 - Report this comment
What's wrong with sleazy G-strings?

"Silver white seniors trying to sing"
Silver white winters that melt into spring ... parody is one syl short.

This should be easy, given TOS's dactylic tetrameter, with the fourth accent often followed by only one unstressed, or none. Still 10-11 syls in all main stanzas, vs. 9 here. Also, some minor mis-stresses (as opposed to minor mistresses, which are illegal. ;)

Snowflakes don't sting on cuts. If anything, they help, as ice is a common first-aid remedy to relieve pain.

For a spin on TOS that is totally in favor of sleazy G-strings and much more,

"My Fave Risque' Things"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/julieandrews87.shtml
Wendy Christopher - November 27, 2012 - Report this comment
I too would LOVE to hear Julie Andrews singing this one! Preferably drunk, and in a really bad mood - I think that would add just the right 'Patsy-from-Ab-Fab' vibe to the whole thing. Lots of great lines in this one - 555.
Daniel - June 28, 2019 - Report this comment
This is probably the best parody I have ever read. The first time I read this I laughed until my tears came out.
CML - June 29, 2019 - Report this comment
The author was only around for a little while, but he definitely had talent. And check out that Tommy Turtle guy. He wasn't a troll; more like our version of Simon Cowell. He's being too harsh here, to the point of being a troll

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