(Intro: Party horns, Congress whooping it up.)

(Shouted:)
"Hey! Get off
The damn sequestration!
Pissed us off!
That damn sequestration!"

(Now sing:)

Doom, doom,
Doom-doom doom-doom,
Doom-doom-doom, doom-doom,
Doom, doom, doom-doom,

Damn sequestration!
Damn sequestration!
Damn sequestration!
Damn sequestration!

All we need is Obama:
The people who voted say to lead, yeah!!!

(Drum solo: Obama stamps his feet genteelly, yet with some sense of urgency.)

On automatic, those defense cuts
Should make it easy for Harry Reid!

(Guitar solo: Neil Young, Stephen Stills, Bono, and Bruce Springsteen discuss possible avenues leading towards reduction of overall Medicaid costs. Sting looks on with an all-knowing stare, but remains silent.)

John Boehner covers bottom
While Eric Cantor throws fiscal lies!

(Bass solo: Rush Limbaugh chortles approvingly, takes another shot of DayQuil.)

We might like to hear you bargain
And compromise, Pauly Ryan, now!

(Organ solo: Paul Ryan playing with his organ. I think it's a Wurlitzer. Definitely not a Hammond.)

"Mitchie Mac! Eric!"

When Pat Murray steals
The floor show,
Idiots loudly groan!

(Horn section solo: Tea Partiers with kazoos. Nice twelve-part harmonies!)

Listen to me!

Mitch and Eric got a message that's saying:
"Governors, mayors, go home!"

Yeaaaaaaah, yeah!!

(Full band break: cut to Obama at White House watching "Lincoln" on his iPhone.)

Liberal girls and boys, say!!!

Doom, doom,
Doom-doom doom-doom,
Doom-doom-doom, doom-doom,
Doom, doom, doom-doom,
Doom-doom-doom, doom-doom,
Doom, doom, doom-doom,
Doom-doom-doom, doom-doom,
Doom, doom, doom-doom,

Damn sequestration! Aaaaaugh!
Damn sequestration! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Damn sequestration!
Damn sequestration!
Damn sequestration!
Damn sequestration! (Voters screaming in horror...)