"The Lame Game"

The lame game.

Danny!
Danny, Danny, brain in fanny
Knack for screw-ups that’s uncanny
Spelled spud with a “e”
Danny.

Dicky!
Dicky, Dicky, nickname’s “Tricky”
“Checkers” speech was pretty icky
Watergate got sticky.
Dicky.

Come on ev’rybody,
I say now let’s play a game
I betcha we’ll find something lame given anybody’s name
The first thing is pick a name, from anytime or anywhere
And a boner or flub or a muff must adhere
Like, say, Johnny Ashcroft, who like Eddie Meese back when,
Was a “boob before the booby” don’t you know,
But that Justice statute’s jutter Johnny bade or let his men
Spend 8 grand to see it didn’t show.
(Now, you might mention FDR but that’s not the same
For Frank, just his legs, not his brain was lame.)


Ollie!
Ollie, Ollie, he’d extol a
A deal to arm the Ayatollah,
Get captives from Hezbolla
Ollie.

(Now, tho’ it’s fun to pick on the GOP,
We can do can couple Dems, if you like. Let’s see …
Oh, Bill, Bill, go on, have your thrill,
But next time be more careful and try not to spill.
Or Jimmy, Jimmy did you have to include
Your lustful heart when Playboy-interviewed?)

OK, now say “George”: “George”
Now George, with a “W”: “W”
Now an “M” and “D” like so: “WMD … ohhh!
Now you say his name again now with FEMA gone wrong: Brown
“Oh me! Oh my! Uh-oh!
Then you say “George” yet again … ah, the list’s too long (Clown!)
And you see Bush’s name is a snap to defame.

Ev’ry body do Spiro!
Spiro, Spiro, Nixon Veep
That was a job you could’t keep
Tax cheat, trouble deep
Spiro.


Pretty good! Let’s do Joey …
Joey … can we call you “Mac”?
Tho’ never a part of HUAC**
You, too, made names black.
Joey.


Very good! Let’s do Alberto!
‘Berto, why’d those lawyers go?”
Truth was ’cause your boss said so.”
You said “I dunno.”
‘Berto

Another trick with Dick –
Cheney, Cheney maybe boozing
Buddy’s face with bird confusing
With buckshot infusing
Cheney