Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "An Orc is an Orc"

Original Song Title:

"A Horse is a Horse ('Mr Ed' theme)"

Original Performer:

Sheldon Allman

Parody Song Title:

"An Orc is an Orc"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Tolkien/LOTR themes seem well-received on AIR so I thought I'd try one, using this jaunty jingle from the classic 60s TV series about a talking horse, voiced by veteran cowboy star Allan Lane. As it's quite short, I've run through it twice.


An orc is an orc, not cork nor chalk
And no one can talk to an orc but dork
That is if course unless you cork your nose when head to head

Go fight' em and stalk and fork the orc
You'll dice 'em and slice' em like pounds o' pork
Our bows and slings they cannot balk
Merrily drop 'em dead

Goblins yakkity yak 'neath peak, and hate the light of day
But Uruk'hai will havoc wreak till Fellowship get in their way

An orc is an orc, not Falk nor Salk
And no one can walk like an orc, not Bjork
You never heard of a gawking orc?
Well listen to this
That's what Tolkien said!

Glamdring, good ol' Sting and brave Halfling
And no orc-y thing can ping a string
That is, by jing' unless sourcing is Isengard's clay bed

Sword bring it and fling most anything
Neck wring it, just wing it, their lives won't cling
Of battles won we'll proudly sing
That Aragorn boldly led

Goblins packity-pack their dacks when Gandalf wends their way
Legolas lets his arrows loose and there will be all hell to pay

An orc is an orc, not stork nor hawk
And no orc will walk in New York, New York
You never heard of a New York orc?
Well listen to this
Sauron's newly bred!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Lifeliver - October 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Forgot to add SFX: listen to this #1 - LOTR Helm's Deep snorks and squawks
listen to this #2 Manhattan mid-town street noises
Peregrin - October 22, 2012 - Report this comment
LL: I enjoyed the parody very much and have to add that it was much better than the show (but then again, so was fingernails on a blackboard :) ). J/k, but it wasn't my cup of tea. I would have given you 6 x 5s, but I had to deduct three of them because you reminded of that dang show, after not having thought of it for decades!
AFW - October 22, 2012 - Report this comment
I don't know from orcs, but this is very well paced and I have a slight disagreement...about no one could talk to an orc, but dork...I think Mork, of Mork and Mindy fame, could have...I'm surprised you didn't rhyme him in..
Glen S - October 22, 2012 - Report this comment
I'm happy to see this entry in the LOTR parody ranks. Well done. great rhymes throughout. Loved all of the references and characters you managed to fit in too. Your final stanza made me think of a much older parody by an author I don't know, but the parody was 'NEW ORCS' to Sinatra's 'NEW YORK' :c).
Merrily - October 22, 2012 - Report this comment
We used to make chocolate orcs. They were tastly. I liked the goblins yakity-yaking and packity-packing; sort of a bit of onamonapia there...
Lifeliver - October 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys. I really appreciate you 'usual suspects' who regularly check out my work. Nice to have a small but quality following. Hint: Check in tomorrow.

@ Peregrin Yeah, Mr Ed was formulaic and silly; sorry to remind you - but probably no worse than the inane 'Gilligan's Island' for example (loved by millions). Alan Young (Wilbur Post) did better with kid's shows.

The series was of note for some rare guest appearances, in particular Mae West (a friend of the director's) and Clint Eastwood, both playing themselves. As it was set in LA, they could be worked into the script as neighbors. It's not every day you see Clint get owned by a horse.

@ AFW: I thought of Mork talking to the orcs, but didn't know the character well enough to know if it would work. I never watched that show, though I admire Robin Williams greatly. Rhymes for orc are not that easy and I just about exhausted them. I used walk and cork twice (bad form), and overlooked 'squawk' and 'snork'. The only other unused ones I could think of were 'quark' and 'auk'.

@ Glen: Thanks. I hope it's not the last. In hindsight I think the references needed a little more polish, e.g. Subs. 'When Gimli swings their way' for 'When Gandalf wends their way' would have kept that formidable pair together. Anyhow, one wends one's own way, wends not one? Another couplet I'd like to change, in order to work in another character:
'Bold Aragorn our future king
Fair Evenstar will wed'

@ 'Merrily': 'Orc's back on the menu, boys!' Blackberry blood would have been a nice touch. Umm, what's an 'onamonapia '- am I missing something? Did you mean 'onomatopeia'?
Tommy Turtle - October 23, 2012 - Report this comment
I was more expecting a "whale" of a parody, but the wordplay and internal rhyming here were "killer"! -- and nice shout-out to Merry. ;-D   So even though the whole LOTR genre leaves me LOTR (Left Out in The Rain), 5s for a bouncy, jouncy jingle.
Lifeliver - October 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, Tommy. It wasn't perfect, but effective enough. If it's real animals you want, check in tomorrow, when I am extremely cruel to one.
Meriadoc - October 23, 2012 - Report this comment
I thought it was onamona-something with a t also, but when I googled it to make sure of the spelling that was the official one they gave me! Blasted internet!
Callmelennie - October 23, 2012 - Report this comment
I didn't fully appreciate this one the first time around, Lifeliver, then I noted all the comments. On second reading -- 3X5's
Tommy Turtle - October 24, 2012 - Report this comment
LL, please tell me that the ref to Orca didn't sink to the bottom of the ocean... I don't care for animal cruelty, thanks; I'm an animal-lover, as you can tell by my nick -- and by some of my parodies. (heh! heh! ;)

For the record, it's "onomatopoeia".

@ Merry: Don't blast the Net, blast Google. Or blast yourself for using them. and others will check for proper spelling and offer close matches if your spelling is incorrect.
Lifeliver - October 24, 2012 - Report this comment
@ TT: Yes, I got the ref to your fellow ancient mariner - hence, 'real animals'. Your puns come too thick and fast to acknowledge them all. Re. onomatopoeia, that's the way I was taught it, but I thought I was giving American sp., cf encyclopedia/encyclopaedia. However, I'm prepared to stand corrected.

@ Lenny: much appreciate your reappraisal, but first impressions may be the best, lol. With the adjustments mentioned above, it could have been better.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1033