Who wouldn't consider some Wisconsin Dells
Right about--well, anytime?
Especially when you know that much of the TV
Isn't worth watching...

Maybe it's time for some Wisconsin Dells,
Especially when you start to hear
That "Duck Dynasty" is nothing but
A big fraud anyway!!

So who can imagine some choice watersliding,
Even in winter's coldest midst?
Credit those waterpark resorts they have there,
And which they created as well!!

So you'd better start thinking about Wisconsin Dells,
Especially if you've long been fond
Of the auld Jersey Shore, but after what Sandy wrought,
Won't want to thus return....

Maybe it's time that you joined those smart people
Of paradise people I know,
Who realise something that's all the more lacking
Among those Orlando theme parks--

So you'd better start thinking, &c.