There's an old Australian stockman, sitting, drinking,
And he takes a big swig of his Dewey's
And he turns to his mates,
Who are gathered 'round him and he says:


She complains that it's small, Paul
She complains that it's small
Hardly see it at all, Paul
Barely there, it's so small
But she can't talk...

[Chorus:]
Her anatomy's flat, Sport
Her anatomy's flat
Flatter than that there mat, Sport
Even flatter than that


Likes a cockatoo too, Hugh
She likes a cockatoo, too
What you say, she's had you, too?
She likes a cockatoo, too
So I say

[Chorus]

She may well koala way, hey
May well koala way
But she won't with me today, hey
Will not koala way
Altogether now:

[Chorus]

Heil kookaburra jest, sport
I'll cook her barrel chest
Let kookaburra jest rest, sport
I'll cook her barrel chest
Altogether now:

[Chorus]

Have a platypus duck, she'll,
Have a platypus duck.
Rhyming slang is such luck, she'll
Have a platypus duck.
Altogether now!

[Chorus]

She'll play your digeridoo, Stu,
Play your digeridoo.
Wish she'd play with mine, too, Stu
Play my digeridoo.
Altogether now

[Chorus]

Tiny, miniscule tits, it's
Tiny, miniscule tits
They look more like they're zits, it's
Tiny, miniscule tits
Altogether now!

[Chorus]