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Song Parodies -> "It's A Kangaroo Court"
Original Song Title:
"Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Rolf Harris
Parody Song Title:
"It's A Kangaroo Court"
Parody Written by:
Hu's On First
The Lyrics
SPOKEN: There's an old Australian singer in the courtroom. He's accused on twelve counts of sexually abusing young girls between 1968 and 1984. He stands up a little taller in the defendant's box, and 'e points 'is finger at the judge, and 'e says:
This is all a mistake, Jake
This is all a mistake
I never touched her with me snake, Blake
This is all a mistake
CHORUS:
All together now
It's a kangaroo court, Sport
It's a kangaroo court
I've never done things of the sort, Mort
It's a kangaroo court
She told me she was eighteen, Gene
She told me she was eighteen
You judges should not be so mean, Dean
She told me she was eighteen
CHORUS
I'm an innocent man, Stan
I'm an innocent man
I never did fondle miss Anne, Dan
I'm an innocent man
CHORUS
I'm not guilty at all, Paul
I'm not guilty at all
I didn't push her 'gainst the wall, Paul
I'm not guilty at all
CHORUS
[The judge turns on an overhead projector and shows everyone a video of Rolf Harris's crimes. Everyone in the courtroom gasps as Rolf's recorded voice says:]
Feel right here by me leg, Meg
Feel right here by me leg
Just don't hurt me soft-boiled egg, Meg
Just touch me here by me leg
CHORUS
Play me didgeridoo, Sue
Play me didgeridoo
It's long and it's hard just for you, Sue
So play me didgeridoo
CHORUS
[Back in the present, Rolf shakes his head, realizing that the court is going to find him guilty.]
Play me songs when I'm gone, Don
Play me songs when I'm gone
Don't send me away for too long, Don
Just play me songs when I'm gone
CHORUS
So we sent ol' Rolf off to jail, Gail
We sent that man off to jail
For wanting that underage tail, Dale
We sent that Rolf off to jail
This is all a mistake, Jake
This is all a mistake
I never touched her with me snake, Blake
This is all a mistake
CHORUS:
All together now
It's a kangaroo court, Sport
It's a kangaroo court
I've never done things of the sort, Mort
It's a kangaroo court
She told me she was eighteen, Gene
She told me she was eighteen
You judges should not be so mean, Dean
She told me she was eighteen
CHORUS
I'm an innocent man, Stan
I'm an innocent man
I never did fondle miss Anne, Dan
I'm an innocent man
CHORUS
I'm not guilty at all, Paul
I'm not guilty at all
I didn't push her 'gainst the wall, Paul
I'm not guilty at all
CHORUS
[The judge turns on an overhead projector and shows everyone a video of Rolf Harris's crimes. Everyone in the courtroom gasps as Rolf's recorded voice says:]
Feel right here by me leg, Meg
Feel right here by me leg
Just don't hurt me soft-boiled egg, Meg
Just touch me here by me leg
CHORUS
Play me didgeridoo, Sue
Play me didgeridoo
It's long and it's hard just for you, Sue
So play me didgeridoo
CHORUS
[Back in the present, Rolf shakes his head, realizing that the court is going to find him guilty.]
Play me songs when I'm gone, Don
Play me songs when I'm gone
Don't send me away for too long, Don
Just play me songs when I'm gone
CHORUS
So we sent ol' Rolf off to jail, Gail
We sent that man off to jail
For wanting that underage tail, Dale
We sent that Rolf off to jail
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 7 | 7 | 7 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
I was hoping someone would catch the story. You captured it just fine. Hope they tan his hide.
Nicely done - had a similar idea, but didn't come up with the "kangaroo court" sub which is spot on.
It's Jake the Peg, diddle-iddle-iddle-lum, showing Meg his veg, diddle-iddle-iddle-lum. Good job
It's rare that the sight/thought of a parody would make me cringe. Add to that I am an Aussie whose very childhood was partly spent watching Rolf on TV, when the allegations first arose, the reaction was "No, not Rolf!!!..." But it is what it is and the verdict is in. Accepting the touchiness of the subject matter, but also accepting that it is just a parody...it is a very well done one, Hu, 5s be for you.
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