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Song Parodies -> "Big Al Capone"

Original Song Title:

"King of the Road"

Original Performer:

Roger Miller

Parody Song Title:

"Big Al Capone"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

Alphonse Gabriel Capone (January 17, 1899 – January 25, 1947), popularly known as Al Capone, was an American gangster who led a crime syndicate dedicated to the smuggling and bootlegging of liquor and other illegal activities during the Prohibition Era of the 1920s and 1930s.

Crime Lord "Big" Al" Alphonse Gabriel Capone was convicted on tax evasion and sentenced to 11 years on "The Rock" also know as Alcatraz of which he served only six and half years. He also had to pay fines and court costs totaling 80,000 dollars US. His early release was a "reward" for good behavior during his incarceration.

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For a more complete history of the life and times of Al Capone Click HERE

Author's note - so much to tell that there are several extra stanzas added to this parody.

Bailors take their percent,
Goons we get; Nitti sent.
On phone, no fool forgets,
Watch your talk on bus-i-ness.
Ah, but..this "thing ours" pushin' moon, [1]
Flys our late past twelve whore saloons.
He's a man makes green from canteens,
Big Al Capone.

Threw boxcars, midnight game,
Point summation lookin' lame.
Rolled turned out shoot one-two,
He don't mind lose union dues.
We joke; old cronies come around,
Shortie, Moe and Half-G Pounds.
He's a man who means what he means,
Big Al Capone.

He knows every rackateer runs every game,
Their wives and children, he knows them by name.
And every hand-black and every clown, [2]
And every dock with his stock,
No one fools around.

Don't sing,
Jailers they nail your scent,
Goons they let head get dent,
Al owns the tools you get,
Don't cash in for cigarettes.
Ah, but..few years of small celled rooms,
On a four to twelve two-bit tune.
He can make time lean by his means,
soon out you go.

Don't mess with agent Ness,
Get Capone; He's obsessed.
Capone He's cool no sweats,
For goons got hits he lets.
Ah, but..Big Al thinks he's immune,
But just wait he'll soon change that tune.
Both are sharp and keen by all means,
One will be showed.

Oscar confers with Ness,
Tax forgets - leaves a mess
Malone, so cruel got hit,
Just ol' Nitti; Same old shit.
Ah, but..Stone finds a note on goon,
'Suades the judge for some change of tune.
Nitti man's end scene's lim-o-sine,
Missin' the road.

Third coach-car, midnight train,
Union Station grabbin' Payne.
Capone's no fool he gets,
Bribin' jury him off they lets.
Ah, but..that judge in that court room,
Knows his name in that ledger looms.
He's a judge that's keen on stay clean,
Went for the goad.

The judge then went and engineered a switch in the game,
Two sets of jurors he went and he changed.
There weren't any handout the jurors weren't bound,
Al Capone got locked on "The Rock"
And no longer round.

Don't sing,
Jailers they nail your scent,
Goons they let head get dent,
Al owns the tools you get,
Don't cash in for cigarettes...

------Fade To Black-Hand------

[1] According to some mafiosi, the real name of the Mafia is "Cosa Nostra" ("Our thing").

[2] Black Hand

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
swinging little tune about one of my favorite gangsters...i dug it
Michael Pacholek - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
I guess I'd better give this a five, or else you'll be scarred for life. It's not like you're untouchable or anything.
Carmine (2-LOUD) Boccotesta - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey-e ovah 'eah, huh? Dat scar face wuz actin sum liddle bid to smug. He didend hav hiz masheen greezed up da rite wayz if`n yas ketch da drif ovah 'eah.

Datz wut gotz hiz azz trowed inta da joint. He newz dat jugge hat hiz name inta dat dere legger book an derefor shud a hat hiz jugge azz wacked so den he cooda gotz hiz self a differnt jugge wut wusent in eny a dose legger books. Enywayz it woiked aud gud fer me cuz my granfawder tuk ovah Big Al's innerests when he had ta go away. 2-LOUD outta 'eah.
Paul Robinson - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Very well done, Guy...nice job of varying your word substitutions & a very good job of telling and advancing the story. 5's ~ ~ ~
John Barry - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
I give you fives on Geraldo's behalf.
Jeff Reuben - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Ah, some Gangsta...Not-rap! Well done!
AFW - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Now, there would be a crazy pair..Roger Miller and Al Capone...great job, here
MrMacphisto - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm assuming this took quite a while to write. Great job... 5-5-5
Kristof Robertson - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Great title sub, Guy, and you've really wacked the OS. Here's an offer you can't refuse. 555
Giuseppe Petri - November 18, 2007 - Report this comment
I like what Ness said when I asked him where Nitti was. Elliot simply looked straight ahead and said "He's in the car".

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