Counting three beats in a hypnotic rhythm
Lilting and shuffling your feet along with ’em
In a grand ballroom of visual assaults
It’s no surprise that you’re dancing the waltz

Dame Julie Andrews surrounded by children
So optimistic it’s rather bewilderin’
Wild moonlit geese being rendered as schmaltz
Sounds like a musical milking a waltz

Strauss’ “Danube” and “Open Arms” by Journey
Listen too long, you’ll wind up on a gurney
If that odd beat hurts and your ticker halts
Don’t say I didn’t warn you of the waltz!

When the beat’s three
And it’s catchy
And sticks in your head

You’ve got to be wary that if it’s a waltz
You just may well end up dead!