Flings were never sating for this girl
She ran from men instead
As she foundered in romance
She dreamed of tarts and ladies, and she dressed
In cuffed tops she'd not ironed
And a frightful pair of pants

Miss Martha's parts were hellish to her heart
All her sweet, enticing glow was wrong...
Someone left her aching in disdain
And to think her genes mistaken
Caused her nook to yawn forsaken
As she pleaded to be rescued from this pain
Oh, no!

I recall her yelling in distress
Groaning like a slave
And the pounding sounds and pleas
Her words, like lepers' ravings, and her rants
And the oaths and plaints that echoed from the trees

Miss Martha's heart was yelling for some parts
All those sweet devices growing strong...
Someone let the sheikh out of Bahrain
I don't think that island fakir
Had the skill set to remake her
But he heard her cries and left to ease her pain

"There will be another's tool for her
For I will find it
There will be another's set for her
And I will bind it
I will bring the finest while it's warm
And never miss a stitch or hooking till I'm done
And when I doff the gloves and my knife
When I doff the gloves and my knife
She will be redone"

"I will take her life into my hands and I'll improve it
I will take the hardship in her life and I'll remove it
She will have the things that she desires
And a passion flowing ever through her mind
And when I doff the gloves and my knife
When I doff the gloves and my knife
I'll be drinking to her
And love she will find"

(Instrumental interlude)

Miss Martha's parts have morphed now into Mark's
All her sweet, enticing glow is gone...
Someone thank the sheikh out of the Bahrain
I don't think that you'd mistake it
She no longer has to fake it
And she'll never have to sit to pee again

Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh NO!!