I skipped the lime and mango
turned back the duck with sauce
I was saving space for pancakes
...not due 'til the ninth course
The prisoners "mmm"s got louder
as they sampled the buffet
when I called out for ano-ther bee-eer
the warder brought a tray

and
so...it...wa-as
much later-er-er
as my joint I did inhale
that I mentioned to my cellmate
"this is quite a laidback jail"

she said "there is no prison
out of all the ones I've seen
that can beat it, and I should know
......I'm nearly nineteen
you know I am...still a virgin
although not for long, one hopes"
and the celldoor they'd left open
I discreetly went and closed

and
then...when...she-ee
told me-ee-ee
she's the warden's daughter, Gail
well I couldn't help but think that
this is quite a laidback jail

the next day over breakfast
(spanish omelette lightly fried)
I was feeling kinda homesick
...about the world outside
then the warden empathised and
he said "don't you worry mate
if you'd like to see what's happening...
here's the keys and there's the gate"

and
so...I...to-old
the stewarde-e-ess
when we reached Fort Lauderdale
that I wouldn't even be here
but for quite a laidback jail