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Song Parodies -> "Doon-toon"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Petula Clark

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Inspired by Groundskeeper Willie. There are those of you who know what we are talking about!

A low-bitrate mp3 of the song can be found here.
When you cross over the Tweed River at Berwick
Everywhere you go’s - doon-toon
When you toss cabers and the music’s Proclaimers
See the heather grow - doon-toon
Just tell Groundskeeper Willie that his accent is a bitty
Little hard to inter-pret - he’ll utter something witty
Och-aye, the nooo

You’ll find kilts and sporrons there
They’re well aware of past troubles, so English: beware!
Long ‘go doon-toon, Bannockburn: famous war
Doon-toon - Edward’s side put to sword
Doon-toon - everything's Robert the Bruce!

Tartan-clad fitba fans at Hampden abound there
Where there’s often snow - doon-toon
World Cup’s our goal but when we make it, we blow, do
Four years: more morose - doon-toon
Envision, do, the swimmin’ of a loch-bound Nessie roamin’
A wee beastie in the burn - they fought wee Caledonians
(Romans met end…)

For fighting’s much fun, ye ken
Just go to Rangers v Celtic, wear green down blue end
Wander doon-toon, check out the kirks tonight
Doon-toon - Ol’ Rabby Burns recite
Doon-toon - haggis is food-ish blight - wow!



And Connery and Connolly
Are hard to understand too
Someone who in tartans viewed
(that’s garbed in kirtles plaid) do
Mouth puzzling sounds

Brogue speaking rogues, we are, yeah!
We should go beat up some Sassenachs, to show them we care
So go doon-toon, shrill is the bagpipe’s call
Doon-toon - Kintyre-ish mull recalled
Doon-toon - Hadrian’s Wall’s un-renewed

Doon-toon, doon-toon, doon-toon, doon-toon...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

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Tim Hall - March 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Better than Lavigullin!
Phil Alexander - March 03, 2009 - Report this comment
:-) Och aye, verra guid.. but ye ken tha' Berwick's nae in Skeetland?
alvin - March 03, 2009 - Report this comment
don't know willie but it was a fun sing a long
LadyEmeraldEye - March 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Happy to see the great team o'M & P back again. 'Tis always a Celtic delight to see a ScottishGent out on the HighLands with his woolly kilt aFlyin' . . .
John Barry - March 03, 2009 - Report this comment
"everything's Robert the Bruce!" one of many bonnie lines.
Peregrin - March 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Heh heh,Phil, I was a-wonderin' whether I would be picked up that. I had to take a liberty in the very first line. It's close though! Good pick up, ye wee croquet playing mint munchin' sassenach ;-p
mandamoo - March 03, 2009 - Report this comment
You left out the most famous Scots of all!! B-A-Y, B-A-Y... :) Seriously, what Alvin said! 3 x Mc5's.
Guy - March 04, 2009 - Report this comment
I've do'in da tune but ya got me with the McHistory. Did this guy know Mel Gibson? Sounds like he liked to pick fights with any .raat baastard".

This parody played out so well to the OS. I throughly enjoyed it all except for the haggis. I guest one fights like what one eats.
Andy Primus - August 12, 2012 - Report this comment
LOL @ the World Cup & Nessie lines.
Peregrin - August 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Late thanks, Moo and Guy. Andy, this is one of all time favourites. YAY! I finally found someone who perfectly understands what the World Cup Line is REALLY all about!

BTW, Scotland are playing Australia at Hampden this Wednesday night.
Leo - March 12, 2014 - Report this comment
Very, very clever.
Peregrin - July 20, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks Leo

Great for you to have visited

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