When you are bored
‘Cause rural nights are so boring
You can always go tip cows
When you’ve got worries,
You can knock down some Jerseys,
Seems to help, I know, downed cow

Just listen to the mooing in the fields outside the city
The sight of redneck teens all drunk on cheap beer isn’t pretty
With shit on their shoes

The nights are much darker there,
You can forget all your troubles, and breath in that dairy air
Downed cow — redneck kids’ boredom cure
Downed cow — though it’s quite immature,
Downed cow — sometimes it makes them go moooooo
(Downed cow)

Don’t hang around
After the farmer has found you
Then it’s time to go (downed cow)
Don’t you get caught
Or get your butt all buck-shot
‘Cause that would really blow (downed cow)

Just listen to the rhythm of a gently snoring bovine
It’s funny when they wake up on a horizontal incline
Mooing again

The sky is much darker there,
You can forget all your troubles, and catch those cows unaware
Downed cow — rural kids ain’t that bright
Downed cow — party with them tonight
Downed cow — tip down some black and white cows
(Downed cow, downed cow)

Downed cow
(Downed cow)

And nothing goes with cow tipping like lukewarm Pabst Blue Ribbon
You’ll cavort around just like a syphilitic gibbon
(And smell just as nice)

So, maybe I’ll see you there
We can forget all our troubles, and give those ol’ cows a scare
Downed cow — smell that eau de ordure
Downed cow — don’t step in that manure
Downed cow — or you’ll smell like shit for sure, too

Downed cow (downed cow) downed cow (downed cow)
Downed cow (downed cow) downed cow (downed cow)
(repeat and fade out)