when you need cheap laughs and not some zoo with giraffes
you can always go. downtown
the bums on the corners always ask you for quarters
and you never pay. downtown
listen to the sirens and watch the hos' get busted
giggle at the babbling fools wand'rin' round and dusted
chugging cheap booze.
the frights are much larger there. hang on to your wallet,
and try to take care.
when you're downtown. steppin' around the drunks.
downtown. runnin' from angry punks.
downtown. it's scary but don't have a cow
when you lack entertainment, it's only five dollars for a porno show
downtown
or stare at the cops with doughnut crumbs on their chops,
arresting someone with blow.
downtown.
listen to the screaming of the lady who got purse-snatched
or the gentle music of a big hit and run car crash.
hope it's only a bruise!
the crimes are much higher there,
so run for the suburbs, as fast as you dare,
and flee!
downtown, the pawnshops' on fire.
let's leave downtown. i'm getting tired of downtown.
somebody call me a cab!

downtown...downtown..downtown...