If I had a gamma,
I'd gamma on my Gramma
I'd gamma on my Grampa,
To see how it worked..
I'd gamma my uncle,
I'd gamma, you, mister..
I'd gamma my best friend, Stan,
My brothers and my sisters,
To see how it worked..

If I had that ray,
I'd shoot it in the morning,
I'd shoot it in the evening,
All over the place..
Won't holler, "Danger!"
I'd ray it without warning,
I'd ray out the ice cream man,
The grocer, and our neighbors
They'd fade with no trace..

If I had that gun,
That I saw in a movie
It'd sure be kinda' groovy,
In my room to stash..
I'd gamma a stranger
Rowboat guys oaring,
I'd snuff out aunt Irene,
Some brokers and some bankers,
And steal all their cash..

If I had that thing,
I'd fling it like Mel Gibson
I'd even cook some ribs done,
Keep it in a case..
I'd be a menace,
Much worse than Dennis,
I'd blast them rays around
Destroyin' like a twister,
All over the place..

Well, I got a gamma,
Yeah, I got those rays..
And I got that gun I saw
In that flick from space..
It's the gamma I wanted,
All these rays, I need 'em
Gonna' put that thing..in between
My finger and my shoulder,
And wipe out this place..

Gonna' hold that thing..in between
My finger and my shoulder,
And wipe out this place..(yeah !)