Drove my car to get food today
Hit the drive-thru right at noon (drive-thru right at noon)
Curly fries with a number eight
They said they'd have it out real soon (have it out real soon)

Paid the worker, drove away
Then I discovered to my dismay
Something horribly wrong and I feel betrayed
And it has me screaming in the middle of the day

To much ice, and not enough soda
All I got was a sip of this diet cola
This is even eviler than Arnim Zola
And I gotta say that I think it is crapola

Why oh why would they pack the cup
To the brim with pellet ice (filled with pellet ice)
Leaves no room for the soda pop
And that isn't very nice (isn't very nice)

Coke or Pepsi, Pibb or Sprite
This is outrageous and I'm uptight
And I'm feeling ripped off 'cause it isn't right
Gonna call my lawyers, tell them that they should indict

To much ice, and not enough soda
All I got was a sip of this diet cola
Everywhere from San Jose to Pensacola
It's so scandalous and it's nothing but crapola

I paid cash for soda pop
Not for ice - this sucks, this sucks

To much ice, and not enough soda
All I got was a sip of this diet cola
Think I'll go and grab a pencil or Crayola
And I'll write a letter saying this is all crapola

To much ice, and not enough soda
All I got was a sip of this diet cola
Gonna make a record for my old Victrola
Full of angry songs saying this is all crapola