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Song Parodies -> "Tommy The Turtle"

Original Song Title:

"Hard To Handle"

Original Performer:

Otis Redding (later The Black Crowes)

Parody Song Title:

"Tommy The Turtle"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Testudines Chelonia
Read his text on the screen
Funny songs is what he's got
Though his brain's the size of a pea
This reptile is cold-blooded but lovin'
And full of gags and puns galore
If he likes you, there's a tribute for you
To make you come back for more

Writes those songs all out by the dozen
West Side Story and Shakespeare hummin'
His crazy songs go over the hurtle
'Cause baby, he's Tommy The Turtle, he gets around

Tommy says you should wash yer hands
If you don't want hepatitis
"I feel shitty", what's the plan?
"When will we all feel well again?"
Airforcewon and Alvin Rhodes
Were spoofed by him "Yesterday"
He's advertising "Michelob"
And "Negra Modelo" for free

Writes the songs out of his Goldfinger
His impact here, it sure do linger
He'll get the cream start up to curdle
'Cause baby, he's Tommy The Turtle, he gets around

Tommy! There he is!
In a loverly shade of green
Writing songs about Bush and Rand
And a suite for Gene Pitney
"Wipe the lipstick off your zipper"
And give a knock on his shell
He is due to lead us all through
He's like Virgil to our Dante's Hell!

Writes those songs all out by the dozen
West Side Story and Shakespeare hummin'
His crazy songs go over the hurtle
'Cause baby, he's Tommy The Turtle, he gets around

Oh yeah...he's The Turtle now...makes me laugh now (etc.)

Copyright 2006, Agrimorfee. Sorry, no footnotes or hyperlinks.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   14

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - May 16, 2006 - Report this comment
fives, despite the lack of footnotes and to see my name in here
Stephen Harrington - May 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Congrats! Another song I know! 555, very good parody.
Joe Blow - May 16, 2006 - Report this comment
I know the 90s version by the Black Crowes, but not this one...but I am sure they are very similar. So here is a 5 5 5 vote.
Agrimorfee - May 16, 2006 - Report this comment
For the curious, my lyrics source is allegedly from the Black Crowes' version. Thanks Alvin, Joe, Stephen!
Red Ant - May 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Great tribute Agrimorfee. I guess TT is busy with taxes right now - I hope to see him back soon.
Larry Hensley - May 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Great and funny tribute!
Chris Bodily TM - June 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I thought I'd never get song ID for this ditty, I had heard it on the radio many times and I heard a cover band play it, but I could never figure out the lyrics to help me ID the song. Fate is a strange thing, right? I wish I could laugh harder than I am able to now, what with the cough I've had off and on lately. But I probably would be howling! Excellent job! 555
Cat - June 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Curse MIDIs to the depth of Hades...I paced it with a lyric sheet. Anywho, this was a great tribute to the king of tributes, but what the heck is a "Testudines Chelonia"?! Is that some Latin name?
Agrimorfee - June 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Cat: see Tommy The Turtle's author page.
Red Ant - June 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above.
Rick C - June 14, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great job, Agri, to a funny author. I used to play this one in one of my old bands (Black Crowes version). I didn't sing it though, just played the keys.
Confission - June 15, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) good (etc.)
Max Power - June 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - June 18, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - It's hard to handle doing a good tribute but you pulled it off, should Tommy ever return you (or someone) might wanna take a look at "Turtle Power" by Partners in Kryme:
Matthias - June 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee - June 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks for the 5s y'all!
bobpiecheese - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The content is totally alien to me. I don't click around AmIRight much.
Rex - June 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Enjoyed this!
wannabemustangjockey - June 26, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - I would say DKTOS but I'm so lost I can't even say that much. It's weird, I thought I'd recognize an oldie...
Arwen - June 27, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM...what a fun tribute!!
Johnny D - June 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Virgil indeed ... but ... who's AmIRight's Beatrice?
Stuart McArthur - June 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) yes, a little bit like Halley's comet, TT flashed across amiright's skies in February March, providing daily spectacles galore, and then was just as quickly gone - that gives me an idea - very nice and detailed tribute Agri - 555
Phil Alexander - June 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Say, Stu - do you reckon he'll be back in 65 years, then? This is good, Agri, but nowhere near your best, I'm afraid.
Tommy The Tardy Turtle - January 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee, I had no idea!!!!!!! :) :) Yes, the RW (Real World -- ecch!) took me back before I saw this... This is a fantastic job... you caught so much of my stuff here... DKTOS (naturally, lol), but "Virgil to our Dante's Hell!" -- love it!!! 555

Is this how you guys feel when I do tributes to you? :D

Cat: (blushing furiously) "king of tributes" ... I'm speechless (rare event)

Stuart McArthur and Phil Alexander (blushing even more furiously, green turning to red) What an image... The RW will probably claim me again, but I shall try to visit here more often than every 65 years...

Afraid to ask what else I've missed in the last 8 months... I do have an inthe00s account, and although it is hardly ever checked, it's set up to give me an email notification if anyone PMs me... My friends, I am so sorry to have been gone, and for the times I'll be away in the future, but *please* give me a PM holler if my presence is required!
Agrimorfee - December 16, 2013 - Report this comment
John Jenkins has informed us via that Tommy Turtle has passed on after a battle with cancer. This is a sad day for amiright. This ones for you, TT. :(

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