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Song Parodies -> "Internet Poultry Auction"

Original Song Title:

"Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Otis Redding

Parody Song Title:

"Internet Poultry Auction"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

Never has the phrase "Caveat Emptor" been more applicable. An innocent transaction goes wrong....
Surplus roosters on the farm
I'm unloading one via dotcom
Foghorn's quite slow and thin
And he's far too gone to lay a hen

(I'm) sellin' my old cock on eBay
Seventy five bids today!
People gaggin' for my cock on eBay
Hey, that's fine

Invited to an orgy?
Int'rest from some Frisco gays?
Requests for length and circumf'rence-
And pics of sodomistic love displays?

Why are they desp'rate for my cock on eBay?
While the sun shines, I'll make hay
I'll get wealthy with my cock on eBay
That's sublime.

All these weirdos acting strange
Coz I said that my cock's free range
I can't do with this dang hullabaloo
So I'll pull out of this exchange

Readin' an email from "Joan"
And she's asking if there's meat on the bone
I'm not sure, but I've a hunch
That she wants my cock for lunch

So I'm withdrawing my old cock all the way
Joanie won't dine, gays won't play
No-one's getting' my old cock off eBay
Not this time.

[whistle]

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 29

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 1
 
 5   25
 26
 25
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Kristof, you dirty minded man, oh no wait thats me, this is awesome!! 555
Matthias - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Yes Kristof you are the master of the "Whoopsidaisies", "Yipsidodas", and now the "Hullabaloos" are you sure you're not Dr. Seuss in disguise?
alvin rhodes - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
i crowed over this...especially the "lunch" part..5s plus
Ravyn Rant - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
I can't believe I didn't see that coming. 555
Susanna Viljanen - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice. A good story on how wrong word choices can go awry.
AFW - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
No innuendo in this, heh, heh, heh,...good one, Kristof
Paul Robinson - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Really funny concept and situations. I was gonna withhold a vote here because I thought there might be a pacing problem in the "People gaggin' for my cock on eBay" line, but I'm not that sure I'm right about that. I THINK the OS there is "I'm just (a)-sittin' on the dock of the Bay", so the syllables match...actually the last half of the line is totally perfect...I guess "People" and "I'm just" are a little off to me...Jesus, am I getting PICKY...so I DIDN'T withhold my vote and I DIDN'T 'ding' you, because if that's my only quibble I should chill out and just enjoy how really funny this is...and then maybe go out and get a life somewhere...5's ~ ~ ~
Dee Range - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
In-'n-Outuendo at it's best. "Requests for length and circum'frence" cracked me up.555
Yoidy - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
People will sell anything on ebay these days! 555
Meriadoc - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
This one had me crowing out loud!
Agrimorfee - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm a sucker for a clever double-entendre...thanks for submitting it under a different title!
Max Power - December 19, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-Great
Cat - December 19, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Oh my, Kristof. Fantastic! Where do you come up with these ideas?!
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - December 25, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Dog breeders have that problem with bitches all the time, but this was a nice twist on the problem! :-)
bobpiecheese - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) That's the LAST time I talk to my mate Nathan, now I get all the double-entendrees here! FESTY! Yet still funny!
Red Ant - December 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I usually give a lot of praise in SOTM, but rarely do I use the word "perfect." This was perfect. 555+
tomario - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
so have you "plucked" your cock yet ?lol oooerrrr missuss you naughty boy ! top banana 555 (does it wake you in the morning ?)
The Charnstar - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) It's disturbing.. the thought of... selling a cock... on eBay... funny... but... disturbing... 5-5-5
Jack Wilson - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM)See above!
Michael McVey - December 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Definitely Dr. Demento material! Agreed about the doule-meaning and the way you kind of sneaked into it.---MM
Stuart McArthur - December 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) ooh I missed this one, Kristof - very witty double entendres, my fave being "withdrawing" (double entendres seem to be a bit of a theme at the moment!) - and just the "cock on ebay" sub for "dock of the bay" was brilliant - how do you keep coming up with so many brilliant title subs? - 555
wannabemustangjockey - December 29, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - You're a master ... even if your name isn't Bates.
Johnny D - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
You " Made It So ", Commander Wharf -- Q'oCkPLAH!
Phil Alexander - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Thought I'd already commented on this one, too. Must have not been able to think of a witty cock-related remark ;-) And I still can't: "cock" jokes are just too hard...
Glen S - December 31, 2006 - Report this comment
"Hey, here comes the rooster..." Dammit, now when I hear that song, I'll be thinking double-meanings too. Very doubly-funny
Tim Mayfield - December 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Kind of a funny concept... making a withdrawal from EBay.
Spaff.com - January 29, 2007 - Report this comment
I said to my cock, "Cock, a dude'll do," but I couldn't convince it; it only wants chicks.

Absolutely lovely extended double-entendre, Kristof. "Extended." Heh heh.
Matthias - March 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Not your best, but still really, really good
Rick C - March 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) A very funny premise from Mr. Robertson, well executed, as usual. My only complaint about this cock song is that it could have been longer. 555+++
Below Average Dave - March 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Above comment. . .funny pun. . .above parody. . .is a pun. . .Kristof, I almost chocked on this cock of yours. . .what a funny funny song. . .In my top 7 thus far. . .that's a no brainer.

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