I’d shave anything
For you, dear,
Anything,
My pubes, rear,
Everything
You see…

Don’t throw that!

I’d shave all my hair,
My eyebrows
And use Nair®
On nad-pouch
Very care-
Fully…

(“Would you shave your nose?”)
Anything!
(“Every hair that grows?”)
Anything!
(“In between your toes?”)
Anything!
(“Wear my pantyhose?”)

What?! Fishnet rocks!!

I’d shave everything,
My chest, back,
Everything,
Yes, I’d shave everything
(“Everything?”)
Everything for you!

I’d wear anything
For you, dear,
Anything
See-through, dear,
Buttless leather jeans…

And handcuffs!

I’d trade underwear
With you, dear,
Why not share?
I’ve got an
Extra pair
Of briefs…

(“Would you wear spiked heels?”)
Anything!
(“Fur from baby seals?”)
Anything!
(“Jockstrap made of veal?”)
Anything!
(“Put a conger eel…?”)

Right down my pants!!

I’d bare everything
While dancing
In a ring,
I’d strip off everything
(“Everything?”)
Everything for you!

I’d eat anything
From moose meat
Sashimi
To goose feet
Floating in fondue…

That’s low-fat!

I’d ingest a pair
Of fresh-soaked
Sanitar-
Y napkins
Anything
For you!

Live bees!
Small trees!
Creamed peas!
Or lab rats with disease!

I’d chomp anything
For you, dear,
Anything,
I don’t fear
Anything
(“Anything?”)
Anything that’s food!

(“Rancid tunafish?”)
Anything!
(“Undercooked knish?”)
Anything!
(“Dogfood from a dish?”)
Anything!
(“And then say ‘delish’?“)

Sure! Let’s tuck in!

I’d risk poisoning
From fugu
Here’s the thing:
I won’t do Burger King
(“Burger King???”)
Burger King
For you!