When I'm feeling down and depressed
Gonna go to the place that's the best
Down the road, not very far
Gonna partake of the spirit in the bar

Gonna partake of the spirit in the bar
Then I'm gonna get in my car
When I drive and I fail that breath test
I'm gonna be put under arrest

Have one yourself you know it'sh a must
I gotta friendly p'liceman
When he stops me in my car
Gonna smell my breath - it's the spirit in the bar

Gonna buy a round of the spirit in the bar
That's where generous spirits are
If you're feeling down and depressed
Come with me to the place that's the best

Never been a shinner I alwaysh got off
I gorra friendly p'leeshman
When I get pulled in my car
He's gonna get me off of the spirit in the bar

Oh have a zzrink of the spirit in the bar
And then I'm gonna light up my cigar
Way to stop myself feeling so stressed
I'm gonna go to the place that's the best

Buy anuvver round of the shpirit in the bar [hic!]
I'm going down like a sooting shtar
When I drive and that breff tesht I fail
I'm gonna go to the court then to jail
Go to the court then to jail
Go to the court then to jail
repeat to fade