Song Parodies -> "Gonads"

Original Song Title:

"Go Now"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Gonads"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

In place of costly sexual harrassment lawsuits, I recommend that we make a law permitting women to smack the living daylights out of any guy (or anyone else, for that matter) who hassles a woman. If that doesn't work, I recommend laws permitting a more drastic measure, as demonstrated in this song.

She'd already said: "Eat me!"
You said "Fine with me."
So she kicked you in the gonads!

("Ohhh!") Gonads! Gonads... (...Gonads!)
(Ooh...) Man, that had to hurt!
I don't think you should have been
Such a pervert with Miss Lu now.
'Cause how many times have I had to tell you
Johnny, Johnny, you shouldn't mess with Su, now? (Whoa, oh no!)

She'd already said: "Piss off!"
You said "let me see you go!"
So she kicked you in the gonads!

("Oogh!") Gonads! Gonads... (...Gonads!)
(Ooh...) Now you see, you're cryin'!
Don't tell her she either
Must be frigid, or she's gay! (Don't say it!)
'Cause, Johnny, Johnny, you just don't
Make her feel "that way." (No, no way!)

[Rollicking Instrumental Bridge]

You made her so mad!
So she kicked you in the gonads!

("Oofta!") Gonads! Gonads... (...Gonads!)
(Ooh...) Feels like you're gonna die!
Didn't I warn you just
What not to say or do, now?
So how many times do I have to tell you, Johnny,
Johnny, she's not in love, not in love with you, now?

(Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh...)

So don't hassle Lady Lu
Or she will kick you in the gonads!

In spite of what the feminists say, one study from the University of Texas at Austin that I've read indicates that "no" does not always mean "no." A well-placed kick, on the other hand, sends a clear, emphatic, and thoroughly unambiguous message.

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Scathe - February 20, 2005 - Report this comment

So funny, so painful. Nice work.

Michael Pacholek - February 20, 2005 - Report this comment

Kicking you some fives, though Johnny D is probably kicking himself for not thinking of this one first.

Johnny D - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment

No wonder the Blues were so Moody.

Offender - March 05, 2005 - Report this comment

Yep. If your balls were black and blue, you'd be pretty moody too. By the way, Johnny D, I wasn't thinking about about you specifically when I wrote this. I just figured "Johnny" would sync pretty well over the original "darling" lyric.

Red Ant - March 25, 2005 - Report this comment

Sorry, DRTOS, but I completely agree with your message. ( no vote )

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