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Song Parodies -> "I Won't Respect You In The Morning"
Original Song Title:
"Angel of the Morning"
Original Performer:
Merrilee Rush
Parody Song Title:
"I Won't Respect You In The Morning"
Parody Written by:
Immoral Liberal
The Lyrics
I don't know where girls ever got the idea that giving away a free sample would ever convince a boy to stay, but as anyone who's been paying attention at all should have figured out by now, that's a blatant lie. As parents have been telling their children for generations, nobody ever buys the cow who can get the milk for free. Crass as it may seem to say, the gal looking for a guy she can keep needs to make him pay for her first one way or another.
Nothing I've said can make me stay
Since your "V Card" to me is lost.
You named no price for me to pay;
You didn't even sell at cost.
In your room at home, we got it on
While your mom and dad both were gone.
I won't respect you in the morning, playmate.
I got you cheap; you were too easy, freebie.
You didn't even ask for money, sweet deal.
When you wake up, you won't find me...
The morning's cold light will be grim,
But you'll get over me somehow.
You can't be Mrs. Right to him
Who's only your Mr. Right Now.
Did you think you would find romance
By letting me into your pants?
I won't respect you in the morning, lay date.
Got you to sleep with me so easy, skeezy.
Into your pillow you'll be mourning, weepy.
Yeah, you made a mistake
Girl, when you let me take
It free... (Free...)
Won't be here
When you wake;
Disappeared...
Tough break, sweetcake!
I won't respect you in the morning, plainly.
You sold it cheap, and now I'm leaving; bailing.
Soon comes a cold light in the morning; freezing.
After I leave, no more you'll see me... (So long...)
Since your "V Card" to me is lost.
You named no price for me to pay;
You didn't even sell at cost.
In your room at home, we got it on
While your mom and dad both were gone.
I won't respect you in the morning, playmate.
I got you cheap; you were too easy, freebie.
You didn't even ask for money, sweet deal.
When you wake up, you won't find me...
The morning's cold light will be grim,
But you'll get over me somehow.
You can't be Mrs. Right to him
Who's only your Mr. Right Now.
Did you think you would find romance
By letting me into your pants?
I won't respect you in the morning, lay date.
Got you to sleep with me so easy, skeezy.
Into your pillow you'll be mourning, weepy.
Yeah, you made a mistake
Girl, when you let me take
It free... (Free...)
Won't be here
When you wake;
Disappeared...
Tough break, sweetcake!
I won't respect you in the morning, plainly.
You sold it cheap, and now I'm leaving; bailing.
Soon comes a cold light in the morning; freezing.
After I leave, no more you'll see me... (So long...)
Two more lessons every generation of parents ought to be pounding into their daughters' heads when they reach the age of understanding: (1) you're only kidding yourself if you think you will ever give out just ONE free sample and (2) even a guy who WAS genuinely thinking to marry you will find himself rethinking his plans if you give him a free "preview" of the wedding night.
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That's a hilarious twist on the original meaning of the song, considering how it was such a big hit during the "Looking For Mr. Goodbar"-era. Intelligently written, too, I should add.
"Will you respect me in the morning?" "Every bit as much as I do now." Very good writing here.
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